Ecce Spanko

Monday Photo Haiku: Season of Giving

2011-12-19T23:55:00.000-05:00

If Old Nick's jolly,

She gets a candy cane and

Placed on the Nice list.

Photo courtesy of 7 on the Hip via The Secret Smut of Eliza Jane Black. Original source unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Resolution Unresolved

2011-11-28T02:05:00.001-05:00

I've eaten too much.

I must resist temptation...

On second thought, nah.

Happy belated Thanksgiving! I hope you all got stuffed one way or another.

Photo courtesy of Expo7000. Original source unkown.

Spankophilephilia: 25 Reasons Why Spankos are So Awesome (LOL 2011)

2011-11-10T00:23:00.000-05:00

If you are a lurker here, then chances are you're a spanko as well. If not, then at least you're probably kinky enough to appreciate spankophilia from a distance (and if not, why are you here? the poetry?). Anyway, most spankos go through periods of self-doubt about their kink. Given that you've been lurking around here and other spanking sites without so much as a comment, my guess is that you're still searching for comfort with it all. I want to help—in the only way I know how.

When I get down and discouraged about my proclivities, I find it helpful to remind myself that spankophilia isn't just some DSM-IV-TR paraphilia, it's an awesome DSM-IV-TR paraphilia! So when I was looking for a way to show love to my lurkers, I decided to focus on what makes spanking so cool (or is it 'hot'...I can never keep track).

But then I realized spanking is an awesome practice (when consensual) only because spankos are awesome people. It's the folks, not the strokes. So I thought I'd show my love for lurkers by showing my love for spankophiles. And so we have the list below.

Let me get a disclaimer out of the way. I rushed production of this post and was not able to research as much as I'd like. Inevitably, I probably have puns or jokes below that have appeared elsewhere (hell, I've certainly recycled a few of my own). If you've seen something before on another site and can send me a link, I'll be glad to credit prior art.

Without further ado, here are 25 reasons why spankos are so awesome:

We're a touchy-feely bunch, and yet still sticklers for formality.
We're the reason antique shops sell hairbrushes.
We're strong advocates for personal responsibility.
We have an attuned sense of rhythm and percussive dynamics.
We have an intuitive understanding of the physics of collisions and waves.
If a song lacks a strong backbeat, we'll provide one.
We know there's more than one way to roast a butt.
If there's whine at the table, then we know what'll be served after dinner.
We can spout off acronyms as good as anybody.
We know the sound of one hand clapping.
We can think of at least two uses for just about anything with a handle.
We understand the importance of clean underwear.
If one of us is up a creek, there's probably a paddle around.
We know that brats are best with toasted buns.
We've built up a lot of tolerance from our experience.
We know that when the going's about to get rough, it's best just to grin and bare it.
If one of us will take a bow, another will be glad to belt out a number.
We know that regardless of the color of a person's skin, it can always be made red.
We're quite good at keeping a count.
While we may still suffer heartache, we know how to deal with a pain in the ass.
While we may still have skeletons in our closets, at least we keep our corners free of cobwebs.
We never forget a birthday.
We get to the bottom of every question, or at least we take a crack at it.
We know that for any mistake, correction is always possible.
We know that no matter how painful the event, there's always an end in sight.

So now what can you do, awesome spanko? Well, why do you think spankos are awesome? Contribute a reason of your own. Or just say hello!

This list was composed for Love Our Lurkers, a wonderful tradition started by Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts. Love Our Lurkers is a chance for us bloggers to show our appreciation to those who read our site, but for whatever reason choose not to comment. The other purpose, of course, is to encourage these lurkers to de-lurk: that is, to take the plunge and leave a comment. So let me say that I am grateful for all the readers of my blog, be they participants or lurkers. I hope that you enjoy what you find here. If you lurk at Ecce Spanko, or are just stopping by now, please consider leaving a comment on this post and on any others you wish. I consider most of my posts timeless, so there's no need to be hesitant about leaving comments on stuff I wrote a while ago. In particular, I invite you to enjoy my entry for last year's LOL. Be sure also to visit the many other sites participating in LOL.

Monday Photo Haiku (late again): Deliberating

2011-11-09T01:53:00.000-05:00

A wise gentleman

Takes some time to map his course

When going to town.

Photo courtesy of Some Favorites. Original source unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Halloween Horny

2011-10-31T18:00:00.000-04:00

Make fantasies real

On an eve when we can shed

Our everyday costumes.

Happy Halloween!

Photo courtesy of Costume Craze.

Monday Photo Haiku (late): Ye Goode Switch

2011-10-26T21:58:00.001-04:00

The knight cedes his sword

At times, and the fair maiden

Gets to play the queen.

Sorry for missing the Monday post!

Photo courtesy of Pixel Acquarium. Original source unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Her Plea

2011-10-17T23:50:00.000-04:00

"Talk to me softly---

Nothing blisters my flesh more

Than your searing tongue."

Photo of Jessica by Some Favorites. Original source unknown, but probably from Real Spankings or an affiliate.

Monday Photo Haiku: Joy of Discovery

2011-10-10T23:30:00.000-04:00

Stray outside the lines.

You never know what you'll find

Exploring new worlds.

Happy Columbus Day!

Photo courtesy of Erotic Inspiration, via Bluemotion. Original author unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: All A Girl Wants

2011-10-03T18:38:00.000-04:00

She wants her man to

Give her shiny new bracelets

And turn on the heat.

Photo by Val-Mont, via mono-girl.

Monday Photo Haiku: What I Did on My Summer Vacation

2011-09-19T06:04:00.002-04:00

We've enjoyed fine meals,

Sunsets along the water,

And lots of fucking.

Photo courtesy of Photolubitel, via Breathless Thoughts. Original author unknown.

Dioneo is still on vacation. Rest assured that I will address all correspondence upon my return.

Monday Photo Haiku: Off to Antarctica

2011-09-05T05:30:00.000-04:00

Time to taste the world!

I'm leaving on a jet plane.

Be back again soon.

Photo courtesy of The Sensual Starfish, via Seeks the Night. Original author unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Lazy Adventures

2011-08-29T17:30:00.002-04:00

I want to travel

Across the hills and valleys

Without leaving home.

Photo "Lady Libertine" courtesy of Frame Rate, via What Turned You on Today?

Monday Photo Haiku: Trembling Prelude

2011-08-22T23:40:00.001-04:00

A heavy paddle

On her mind, her burden is

To suffer the wait.

Photo by Yuria, via Visual Clips.

Monday Photo Haiku: Mastery

2011-08-15T09:08:00.000-04:00

You master the skills

By playing with yourself. Plus,

You win everytime.

Photo courtesy of Banana Things, via Void*.

Monday Photo Haiku: Rebuttal?

2011-08-08T17:00:00.002-04:00

The critic signals

Her thoughts on your work of art.

Time to up your game!

Photo courtesy of Doc's "Special Treatment", via the Pink Papers.

Monday Photo Haiku: Nature Bound

2011-08-01T18:33:00.000-04:00

My love of nature

Began that first time she asked

"Wanna play outside?"

Photo by CherriLady, via Palace of the Lustful Kitty.

Monday Photo Haiku: Tilling the Field

2011-07-25T10:00:00.000-04:00

In the good old days,

Man had time to tend to her

And make her feel loved.

Photo courtesy of Some Favourites, original source unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Parable

2011-07-18T08:00:00.000-04:00

Left and Right bickered.

The shit hit the ceiling fan,

Then they were grounded.

Photo by Ken Marcus, courtesy of Lynn Pops, via Submission Spanking.

Poster: Adulthood

2011-07-13T17:00:00.001-04:00

Photo courtesy of PornPros, via Yankee Clipper. Composite by Dioneo Daspanca.

Monday Photo Haiku: Summer Sweat

2011-07-11T23:00:00.001-04:00

Nothing's hotter than

The damp limbs and musky lips

Of a girl in heat.

Photo courtesy of All Things Sexy, via Sexy, Nude, and Sometimes Lewd.

Monday Photo Haiku: Not Too Subtle

2011-06-27T16:00:00.000-04:00

Somewhere in the tale,

Lips moistened, she figures out

What you have in mind.

Photo courtesy of Erooups, via Human Error.

Monday Photo Haiku: Puckered Canvas

2011-06-20T11:00:00.001-04:00

She's primed and ready

To be painted with kisses

By your skillful hand.

Photo courtesy of Club Seventeen, via Déculottée. Please note that, its name notwithstanding, Club Seventeen claims compliance with 18 U.S.C. Section 2257 (i.e. the subject of the photo posted here is at least 18).

Monday Photo Haiku: Would you like a taste?

2011-06-13T08:00:00.006-04:00

Scents from her oven

Invite you for a warm meal.

Get it while it's hot.

Photo of Kami courtesy of Errotica Archives, via Painted Pants and Open Kitchen.

Monday Photo Haiku: Bratty Duet

2011-06-06T18:00:00.001-04:00

Trouble comes in pairs.

Doubly shamed, they recall that

Class here starts at two.

Photo courtesy of Sir Cane.

Monday Photo Haiku: You're Welcome

2011-05-30T09:00:00.001-04:00

Like a good neighbor,

She opens her doors and asks,

"Will you stay for lunch?"

Photo courtesy Michelle7, via Art or Porn?.

Monday Photo Haiku: Communication

2011-05-23T07:00:00.000-04:00

Her struggle complete,

She waits nervously, hoping

He'd get the message.

Photo by Zoe Grayson, via Scandal Guy.

On the contrary madam, I'll be heating up your butter forthwith!

2011-05-19T07:00:00.000-04:00

I came across this lovely old tune this morning. I don't know how much of a hit it was back in its day, but it's definitely going into my Greatest Tushist Hits playlist. Some sample lyrics follow the Youtube audio:

Everybody pinches me butter,
They won't leave me butter alone,
And nothing is better than butter
For keeping the old man at home.
Everybody thinks I'm old-fashioned
To sit on the things that are rationed,
You can pinch all me ham
And me plum and apple jam
But please leve me butter alone.

Isn't butter delicious?

Photo of girl licking girl courtesy of the 50 Lesbians, via the Pink Papers, and modified by Dioneo Daspanca.

Monday Photo Haiku: To a Friend

2011-05-16T07:00:00.000-04:00

Congratulations!

May your marriage be replete

With love and spankings.

Photo coutesy of Lorem Ipsum, via Afterbeat.

Monday Photo Haiku: I wish I were a bicycle seat...

2011-05-09T10:00:00.000-04:00

Let's dust off the bikes!

May I draft in your scent, and

Coast along your curves?

Photo courtesy of ErOOups.com, via Visual Clips.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...there was some spankin' goin' on.

2011-05-04T23:14:00.000-04:00

This afternoon at the local nerd council, one of my bespectacled comrades remarked that today was Star Wars Day. I admit that I plum forgot (I know, for shame. You can deduct points from my nerd score). Since there's still a couple of hours left, I figured there was still time to post something in celebration, so here you go...

"You are a part of the Rebel Alliance and a brat!"

If you enjoy spanko-nerd humor and have both a spanking and Star Wars fetish, you might want to check out a piece I posted a while ago: "Some Sunday Silliness."

Happy Star Wars Day!

May the Fourth be with you!

Still from Star Wars and hairbrush acquired from Google Images. Composite by Dioneo Daspanca.

Merry Masturbation Month!

2011-05-01T00:44:00.000-04:00

Hello, my name is Dioneo, and I'm a masturbator.

As you may already know, May is International Masturbation Month. While I imagine most visitors to this blog celebrate year-round, I invite you to make a special effort throughout this month to show your appreciation to yourself. Give yourself a hand--or a toy if that's how you roll--for May is a month where you celebrate you.

Original photo courtesy of Random Nudes, via Cantamar. Modified by Dioneo Daspanca.

In the News: You're not as deviant as you think (yeah, right...)

2011-04-28T10:05:00.003-04:00

The New York Post recently profiled a soon-to-be-released book A Billion Wicked Thoughts, which analyzes Google search data to discern sexual proclivities. The researchers basically argue that categories of fetish thought to be deviant (i.e. rare) among sex therapists are in fact quite common. The Post's article, linked here, describes the findings in more detail and provides some critique. I haven't read the book, so I'll reserve comment, but I thought my readers might like the heads up on this study, considering how deviant you all are. ;)

Monday Photo Haiku: Traditionally Bare

2011-04-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

So why do we tend

To use piles of fine fabric

To bury treasure?

Photo courtesy of Clip, via Déculottée.

Monday Photo Haiku (on Friday): Feeling Nasty and Used

2011-04-15T11:00:00.001-04:00

Act of submission

That leaves you in agony?

Paying your taxes.

Happy Tax Day!

I apologize to my readers and friends for my unanticipated hiatus these last couple of weeks. I hope to return to regular posting/commenting/chatting soon.

Photo courtesy of NickTheDick Reloaded, modified by Dioneo Daspanca.

Monday Photo Haiku: Spring at Last

2011-03-21T09:59:00.000-04:00

Spring is here at last!

Let me savor your blossom,
Its sweet, crispy scent.

Photo courtesy of All Shapes and Sizes, via Daily Redhead. Author unknown.

Fun with Memes #2

2011-03-16T16:00:00.053-04:00

...continuing on a theme—er, meme.

There's an old saying attributed to Socrates that goes:

Get not your friends by bare compliments,
but by giving them sensible tokens of your love.

So I think he'd agree with the following...

I think I got this next one from The Body Shop's annual report to shareholders...

There's something about this next one that I hope will give you a chuckle...

Credits:

Photo of two women courtesy of Sexy Little Things, via Naggisch (paddle added).
Pie chart "Buyers of Bath Brushes" by Dioneo Daspanca.
Photo of Katjia at chalkboard courtesy of Whipped Ass, via The Pink Papers. Composite by Dioneo Daspanca.

Monday Photo Haiku: Topsy Turvy

2011-03-14T09:00:00.003-04:00

Her morning unwrapped,

Kitten scratches at the floor,

Awaiting her mate.

Photo courtesy of Seeks the Night. Original source unknown (focuus.com disabled).

Monday Photo Haiku: Shot

2011-03-07T07:00:00.001-05:00

She pulls the trigger

And so captures an instant

Of sheer ecstasy.

Photo courtesy of The Depiction of Erotic Behavior, via Muffy's. Author unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Flu, or something like it

2011-02-28T07:00:00.001-05:00

No haiku today...

My body is a warzone.

I'll be back next week.

Mucus Max appears courtesy of whoever makes those dumb commercials. I don't have the mental function to look it up right now.

Fun with Memes #1

2011-02-23T15:00:00.002-05:00

...because why the hell not?

Every spanker should have this poster on his wall as a reminder:

And maybe keep this one in his pocket for handy reference:

This one isn't really an internet meme...yet.

Credits:

Photo used in "Spankings" poster by Me in My Place. Composite by Dioneo Daspanca.
Flow chart "When to end a hand spanking" by Dioneo Daspanca.
Photo of Katjia at chalkboard courtesy of Whipped Ass, via The Pink Papers. Composite by Dioneo Daspanca.

Monday Photo Haiku: Foamy Lips

2011-02-21T09:10:00.000-05:00

The sea's foamy lips...

With reflection she's centered,

And getting quite wet.

Photo courtesy of Niente, via Yubioshi_Reblog.

Photo Haiku: Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T07:00:00.001-05:00

Happy Valentine's—

In time your bodies degrade,

But your love need not.

Photo courtesy of It's Maui Bitch, author unknown.

Venting on a Valentine

2011-02-11T02:32:00.003-05:00

I want to say that the sun struggles to pierce the clouds,
That it gasps at overcoming the hills,
All so its rays can reach you,
All so it can give a pleasant glow to your skin and hair,
The warm light that your beauty sure deserves;
But that I'm willing to get in its way,
Willing to block it all out,
Willing to eclipse the sun,
If that's what it takes to kiss you.

I want to say basically that,
But I want to say it with good meter and rhyme
Which is fucking hard.

Erato, muse of poetry,
Thou art a bitch.

Photo Haiku: Super Bowl Monday

2011-02-07T08:00:00.004-05:00

Regrets from the bar...

Black coffee corrects one end,

Black suede the other.

Photo "Kat" by Damon Loble, via Tush.

I must be seeing things again...

2011-02-04T08:53:00.001-05:00

The snow must be getting to me...

Or maybe it's being cooped up indoors...

Or having to navigate the icy roads...

Whatever it is, I have a pronounced desire to thoroughly spank the goddess of snow. Have you seen that naughty Snowzilla?

Credits:

Cloud photo courtesy of NASA's GOES-13 satellite.
Naughty girl photo used for bump map courtesy of Ciao Bella.
Composition by Dioneo Daspanca.

Look at it this way...

2011-02-02T00:29:00.000-05:00

When you get out of bed and the skin-piercing chill makes you regret it,
When you look out the window and the whitewashed street makes you squint,

When the door fights you as you try to leave,
When the sidewalk fights you as you try to walk,

When your stomach drops as your car doesn't start at first,
When your heart stops as your tires lose traction for a second,

When, in crawling traffic, you want to jump out of your car,
When, at your destination, you want only to stay in,

When the sight of snow makes your back hurt...

Remember that these snows replenish our lakes,
Remember that these snows protect the roots of our trees,

Think of the kids that will run wide-eyed into the abundance,
And think of the angels and astronauts who can marvel at the sight from the heavens.

Photo courtesy of NASA's GOES-13 satellite.

Photo Haiku: Elixir

2011-01-31T15:00:00.007-05:00

Afternoon alone—

Sipping her most loved liqueur

From her fingers.

Photo by Sasha, via HUMAN_ERROR.

Friday Flash Fiction: Flash of Light

2011-01-28T00:00:00.026-05:00

Dammit, what happened to his meeting? We waited so long for this. Our poems and confessions--our collective raunch--were all just a prologue. I tore at her skin when finally I saw her. I wanted only to taste her. But with my flattened tongue between her breasts, I felt her heart stop as the front door slammed.

Over my echoing pulse, I could barely hear their mumbling. How was she covering? Did he notice my bra on his reading chair? Did he notice my perfume on her lips and breasts?

Held protectively by the wardrobe's darkness, I hear her implore, "Here, give me your coat--no, wait!" And with a flash of light I am revealed.

"Ah, so I see you have met my secretary," he says.

(Click for details on FFF)

Here was this week's prompt:

Your challenge for this Friday, 1-28-11, is to use the photo above to write a flash fiction of 93-129 words. Since everyone seems to be enjoying the required phrases, please use this phrase in your submission: "...held protectively..."

Photo courtesy of Erotic Flash Fiction, author unkown.

Photo Haiku: Chilled Aphrodite

2011-01-24T14:00:00.017-05:00

Chilled Aphrodite—

Let me give warmth to your skin

And life to your lust.

Photo courtesy of Stooopid Things! via Daily Redhead, original author unknown.

Photo Haiku: Mystery Man

2011-01-17T14:00:00.013-05:00

Mystery man—
Bared and blushed, you learn
He has company.

Photo courtesy of Northern Spanking, via Farmd0g's Family and Déculottée.

Types of Spanked Butts

2011-01-12T14:00:00.009-05:00

Those of you who follow tushist Tumblrs probably have seen the
following image pop up on your feed:

But you may not have seen this one:

Cheers.

Credits:

Original image courtesy of Tush. Author unknown.
"Types of Spanked Butts" composition by Dioneo Daspanca.
Splotch for "The Van Gogh" taken from "Red Poppies and Daisies" by Vincent Van Gogh.

Photo Haiku: Dripping Sweetness

2011-01-10T17:30:00.003-05:00

Food or fantasy?

Your mind sees what it wants to.

Give her what she wants.

Photo "Tastes Like Strawberries" by James Brey, via Almost Transparent and Bluemotion.

Photo Haiku: Crossing the Threshold of a New Year

2011-01-03T08:00:00.004-05:00

Blues left behind—

Optimism is sexy

At new year's threshold.

Source and author of photo unknown.

Buon Anno!

2011-01-01T00:00:00.066-05:00

Chi fa l'amore a capodanno

fa l'amore tutto l'anno.

("One who makes love on New Year's Day

makes love throughout the year.")

—Italian proverb

Happy New Year to all my wonderful readers! I wish you the best in life and love in 2011.

Photo courtesy of Ella, author unknown.

Ekphrassis 7 (Clairin)

2010-12-31T00:40:00.000-05:00

At last, we have calm waters and clear skies. What a sight that blesses my eyes as I step out to the balcony. My love, you radiate even in the shade as you skinny dip in the tickling freshness of the bay air. I can feel your serenity and contentment, your celebration of freedom in nakedness. What a beautiful thing is a sunny day where the moon also shines.

I will come up behind you, flank you in my arms, and deeply breathe the scent of your hair. You will feel me against you. You will know it is me—if not at first, then as soon as my hand grazes across your bare bottom. My touch will warm and moisten you. And, at the instant of contact, our minds will synchronize on a thought. For we both readily know what my caress foreshadows.

We have reached peace with it. No longer is your desire for it mixed with alarm, nor is your passion tempered by shame. You've broken your chains. Now my arms are all that ever bind you.

And soon, we will again express our love in our best way. Right here on the balcony, I will take my place on my throne and you will come to court. But it is not a trial, for we both already know the verdict. Nor must you request, for we both know I'm already committed. Nor is it role-play, for we are never more our true selves.

My love, I will spank you. Not punishment, nor even foreplay. Just because there's no other way we'd rather spend the afternoon.

Photo courtesy of Eye of the Beholder, via Afterbeat, original author unknown.

Last Christmas: The Spanko Version

2010-12-22T20:30:00.000-05:00

My lovely readers, it's the most wonderful time of the year! One of the things I love most about the season is its music. The merry, the sacred, the mundane: I smile when I hear it all!

...well, almost. There are some songs of the season that I can hardly stomach. Now. the Christmas songbook reaches back centuries and just about every artist in that last fifty years has put out a Christmas album—most of them good. Yet the radio and whatever musak service to which retailers subscribe seem to regurgitate the same playlist over and over and over again. Most of these songs are just fine for the first few listens. But by late December...bah, humbug!

Which brings me to Wham! Damn Wham! If I sound all worked up, it's only because the duo conspired in their naming so that one can not state, but only exclaim, about Wham! I consider myself quite appreciative of a broad spectrum of music, but frankly, their songs make me want to go-go jump-jump out of a window.

So the other day, I was standing in line for coffee when their Christmas gem started to play. I felt my stomach drop at that oh-so-familiar, synthesized introduction. My first instinct was to flee, but...well, I really needed that coffee. As a coping mechanism, inspired by Bonnie's work over the years, I tried to mold the song into something this spanko can smile at again. In the spirit of the season, and in hope that it will aid you should you find yourself, without earmuffs, in the same situation, I thought I'd share with you what I came up with.

If it's not already on a loop in your head, here's the original:

The song has a rather irregular meter, so some of my modifications to the verses don't fit with Mr. Michael's utterances exactly. But anyway, enjoy the butt-smacking rendition.

Last Christmas (spanko version)

Last Christmas, I spanked you real hard,

But the very next day, the sting went away.

This year, to double the tears,

I'll spank you with somethin' special.

Last Christmas, I spanked you so long,

But the very next day, a brat anyway.

This year, to be more severe,

I'll spank you with somethin' special.

Lil' kitten, you know why

I keep on having to put you 'cross my thigh.

Tell me baby, will you learn your lesson?

Well, if not, girl, it wouldn't surprise none.

(Gonna spank you) I'll show you that I meant it

With this paddle—I hope I don't dent it.

Then you'll beg me to cool your ass,

But if I grant reprieve, I know I'd just hear more sass.

Last Christmas, I spanked you real hard,

But the very next day, the sting went away.

This year, to double the tears,

I'll spank you with somethin' special.

Last Christmas, I spanked you so long,

But the very next day, a brat anyway.

This year, to be more severe,

I'll spank you with somethin' special.

And now in gloom, you have teary eyes.

Your hide now sure could melt a bowl of ice.

My dear, I know you will misbehave again soon.

Gee, I guess I will then show you the wood spoon.

A face on a lover with a fire on her bum.

A girl in the corner with cheeks dark as a plum.

Now I'll show you more love, get over my knee again.

Last Christmas, I spanked you real hard,

But the very next day, the sting went away.

This year, to double the tears,

I'll spank you with somethin' special.

Last Christmas, I spanked you so long,

But the very next day, a brat anyway.

This year, to be more severe,

I'll spank you with somethin' special.

Happy holidays to all!

Warm tastes of winter...

2010-12-09T17:00:00.041-05:00

Warm tastes of winter...

Seven icicles melting,

Trickling down her throat.

In other words, Kirsti has posted a wonderful piece about fellatio on her blog Drenched and Delicious. I recommend you join her for this one-week tour through a vivid gallery celebrating the practice.

Credits:

Photo "Singing in the Room" courtesy of A Whisper to a a Scream, author unknown.

Grapes and Pine Cones

2010-12-08T00:13:00.001-05:00

Care to ponder for a bit about symbolism in erotic photography?

Rather than put up another lame "I'm too busy to think of anything creative" post--not that I won't do so again in the near future--I thought that this would be a good opportunity to introduce some interactivity to Ecce Spanko. I came across these two photographs while tumblring and I'm wondering about the grapes and the pine cones. Grapes and pine cones appear in non-erotic art with symbolic meaning, but I don't see an obvious meaning in an erotic context—as opposed to bananas and cherries, for example. Now, I'm really not one that thinks art has to have meaning to be good. Nevertheless, I'm curious.

So what do you think? Use your imagination. There's no right or wrong here, so have some fun with it.

Credits:

Photo "Selective White Grapes" by Lefty-Robear on deviantART, via Yubioshi_Reblog.
Photo of lady with pine cones by Antea, via Skin2Skin.

High/Low Captions #2

2010-11-30T23:50:00.001-05:00

Connoisseurs of the adult blogosphere know that the captioned photograph is a popular theme. (Or is that "meme"?) I've often enjoyed captioned photos as a reader and would like to incorporate them more into Ecce Spanko. But I'm so indecisive. As I look at any given photo, I can't decide whether to try to be poetic or cheeky. So I'll hedge my bets and hope that you'll enjoy at least one of my takes on each image.

Do you smile to tempt a lover, or because you're at her doorstep?
She's clearly an art lover--and with good taste.

When you put like that, it really does look like a self-portrait.
(If you don't get this joke, please google "mona lisa da vinci portrait")

In employ of a tyrant—and loving it.

I'll teach you never again to forget my mint at turndown!

Down the savannah, through the brush, and into the valley:
digital exploration by manual means.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who needs help finding it.

Credits:

Photo of art sampling woman courtesy of Eros Pics Logger, original source unknown.
Photo of man and maid courtesy of Let the Sin Begin, original source unknown.
Photo of lady on safari courtesy of Stranded Pearl, via Tempting Sweets: Visual Treats, original source unknown.

Be Thankful and Spankful

2010-11-25T09:00:00.059-05:00

Harvest feast, bird flees—

Kinkiest part of my week?

TSA pat-down.

I wanted to wish all of my readers and everyone else out there a Happy Thanksgiving! For those not familiar with this American holiday, it is a day to convene with family and friends to celebrate over a meal all that we are grateful for. While I will not say so at our dinner table, one thing that I'm definitely thankful for this year is all the wonderful readers of my blog. So thank you, merci, grazie, xièxie, gracias, asante, danke, arigatō, shukran, dzięki, obrigado, tapadh leat, and all the rest. You all truly mean the world to me.

Ecce Spanko is on autopilot this week as I am away from home. Rest assured I will address all comments and e-mails upon my return. Given that this holiday has become (for better or worse) as much about the food as about the thanks, and since I don't have much new content for you this week, you might want to check out my posts last month on "Cooking Lessons" (Parts 1, 2, and 3). Bon appetit!

Credits:

Photo of Emeril Lagasse acquired from Google Images. Photo of spanked lady courtesy of BritSpank. Composition by Dioneo Daspanca.

Shades of Subtlety

2010-11-22T08:00:00.111-05:00

a pic-and-prose poem

"Be it by gins, by snares, by subtlety"

William Shakespeare, King Henry VI, Part II (III.1)

Sometimes subtlety works. Merely dawn the right outfit And the right face-- That of an angel wearing a sin.
At times it takes but to show him the prize, To let the caress of dusk lead his eyes, And leave him no doubt in what you seek, With your defiant lips and vicious gaze.

	Or you might have to lure him in With a savory hors d'oeuvre, And hope that you can steer his appetite Toward your hunger.
	Or capture him at his least guarded, Impaling him with irises, And sweetly hinting For your prisoner to play the warden.

When he won't take the bait, Be a brat, silly and childish, Until he reaches the end of his rope And reaches to rope your end.
Or, if you prefer, be a smart-alec brat, Correct his logic and recall of history, And be sure to laugh at his errors Until he takes you to school.

	But sometimes he's dense. Then dispense with subtlety, Bring him his tools, And just ask for a fix.
	And when all else fails, Wear your most obscene, Close your shades, And cook your own meal.

Credits:

Photo of lady by shades courtesy of All Flowers in Time, original source unknown.
Photo of lady kneeling against wall courtesy of Sex in the Soup, via Visual Clips, author unknown.
Photo of couple in bedroom by Andrew Davidovsky, via Workshop Erotica.
Photo of blue-eyed fellatrix courtesy of Palace of the Lustful Kitty, original source unknown.
Photo of silly-faced brat courtesy of Ridicuously Beautiful, original author unknown.
Photo "Well-Read Girl #2" courtesy of Zip.QIP.RU, via Human Error, author unknown.
Photo of lady offering brush courtesy of Consensual Spanking, original source unknown.
Photo of lady self-spatuling herself courtesy of Fetish for..., via If You Can't Stand the Heat, original source unknown.

Friday Flash Fiction: Risk

2010-11-19T00:00:00.003-05:00

"Drink," Laura ordered her tremulous lover. Stasia brought the bottle to her lips for a calming sip. Laura then lifted her leg. "Now eat."

With a glance down the hallway, Stasia knelt before the well scavenged banquet. Laura lit her Parliament as she felt a familiar tongue glide across her lips. A thudding above roused their attention and soon took shape as footsteps. Stasia looked up with petrified eyes. "Please..." Laura only smiled, firmly returned Stasia's head to its place, and took another drag. For Laura, without the threat, there is no thrill. The rush of risk and papillae caress set ablaze her blood.

"Hurry," Laura commanded as the deep echo of the steps swelled. Stasia's tongue desperately hastened. As the metronome continued, she could feel Laura edging closer. Suddenly the stairs creaked and Laura shrieked, drowning her gasping mate. In the detached silence that followed, Laura drew her lover up, covered her face in smoke, and kissed her deeply, enjoying the nicotine blended with her juices. Only in breaking their kiss did they see the blue-uniformed man approach.

Epilogue:

"Just what do you think you're doing?"

The girls froze, their skin blushed and mouths agape, unable to reply to the cop. The stern officer continued,

"Don't you know that smoking is prohibited in this building? Extinguish your cigarette immediately."

Laura grabbed the bottle and dropped her cigarette into the wine.

"Okay then, have a nice evening," the officer said, then turned and continued his patrol.

(Click for details on FFF)

Here was this week's prompt:

Your challenge for this Friday, 11-19-10, is to use the photo above to write a flash fiction of 150-180 words. Your required phrase to use in your submission: "...the stairs creaked..."

Credits:

Image courtesy of Sephani Paige, original source unknown.
The word "tremulous" courtesy of Barely Pink, origin unknown.

Ekphrassis 6 (Saffi)

2010-11-16T11:00:00.002-05:00

What do you hope to find in those books? Will they explain these desires? You already know what they say, you heady, scholastic fool. They see fetish as a perversion of fear and speculate on past abuse. They tell you that you're just building a shell of arousal in which to recoil and hide from demons. They tell you that you want to be over my lap only because your father never showed you love, that you want to give up control only out of fear of making poor decisions.

But they know little of you. They haven't seen the smile that you struggle to suppress when you learn that you're going to be spanked. They can't see your lips tighten--that pucker of resistance--as you fruitlessly try to act remorseful when I inform you of my grievance. They don't catch a glimpse of that smile breaking through as you turn away from me and head to your place in the corner. And they don't see the glow in your skin when, northern cheeks damp and southern ablaze, you nestle your head along my neck as I cradle you in my arms. I care not what the books say about it. To me, there is nothing deeper than desire.

And why this insatiable curiosity about it all? If knowledge is power, then why strive to learn about your submission? You already know your place. You can go earn a doctorate, yet you will still be standing before me at night in your pajamas, the bottoms at your knees. You can give lectures, but you will still get them. You can amaze audiences with your logic and rhetoric, but you will still blubber unintelligibly over my knee. They might even call you a genius, but you will still call me "Sir." At the end of the day, no matter how much you learn, you'll still be standing in the corner like a naughty dunce for as long as my unscientific judgment dictates. So why this irrational drive to rationalize?

Alas, I know you. You'll take orders from me, but not counsel. You're at your most stubborn, Saffi, in pursuit of wisdom. Well come then, my love, and let me teach you another lesson.

Photo by Phillip Greenspun, via The Fury of Beautiful Bones.

Duty and passion...

2010-11-11T01:33:00.000-05:00

Duty and passion...

Intersection non-empty,

Yet holds not the blog.

Oh, my lovely, patient readers. Have I disappointed thee? I'm sure I have, though I surely don't mean to do so. I keep thinking that with just one more day, I will have time to finish some posts. Yet life and blogging at times make war. And life has the louder army. But I will return soon.

Drink to Pink!

2010-11-04T09:12:00.006-04:00

Congratulations to Barely Pink and her blog the Pink Report for winning the Spanking Bloggers Network Blog of the Month!

Photo by Narcis Virgiliu, via Art or Porn. Colorized by Dioneo Daspanca.

Ecce Spanko -- Canto II

2010-10-26T07:00:00.001-04:00

An oily, scented throng blankets the sand.
Wild breaking waves submerging trifling chat.
My eyes on all but pages in my hands,
Surveying beauty clad in polyester.

No ray of sun strikes lovely skin as one
That bakes her back and legs like lobster tail.
Were I to peel her green bikini down,
I would unveil a stripe lost from Old Glory.

If less restrained, I'd dive right at that band
And soon complete this work of solar art.
I would create a glow that'd please Van Gogh
With strokes of two quintuply bristled brushes.

Alas, the public eye enchains my arms.
But in my mind, I'm master of the beach.
On my estate, we bathe in sand and sea
Alone, unseen, unchecked by social precepts.

I cross my sand domain and reach my neif.
The woman's startled by my touch. She turns
Her head, returns my dev'lish smile. For sure,
She knows the rights allowed her lord and lover.

I stroke and squeeze, pleased at the catch in hand.
My fingers curl to furl the green away.
Then hands return to glide across the flesh.
She coos and hums at such manipulation.

The gentle touch of chilly air, of hand,
Of knowing my intents bristles her skin.
I softly place a kiss upon each cheek.
And there upon the shore begin the splashing.

I slap and slap again her waxy cheeks.
Our hearts accelerate, our blood does rise.
She gazes back at me, her eyes trepid,
A feeble mask that fails to hide desire.

The splendent sun, in flooding flesh in light,
Upon her suppl'ly rippling skin gives sheen,
Betrays the glist'ning of her lips beneath,
And helps to draw the blush to coat the canvas.

Staccato pulses pierce the rush of waves.
My easel sings as I apply my art
And there, along the cheering water, smile,
Sensing my masterpiece approach completion.

Credits:

Photo of nude lady siting on rocky beach courtesy of Wild Ride, via Favored by a Princess, original author unknown. (Eros Unbound post).
Photo "Bronzette" courtesy of These Are Butts, original author unkown. (Eros Unbound post).
Photo "Ah, summer..." by Solomon, via Papiers Gras (Eros Unbound post).

Limericks for Lurkers

2010-10-21T00:00:00.043-04:00

For love of lurkers...

Lady in Belfast

There now lives a lady in Belfast.
She thinks that this blog's gone to hell fast.
I try to be comical,
With themes anatomical.
Perhaps I need more pics of swell ass.

A Lady Near Carson City

A lady lives near Carson City.
My take on the Bard she found witty.
Well, tell me that, honey.
And that it was funny,
Or e'en that my jokes are just shitty!

A Guy in North Somerset

There lives a guy in North Somerset.
No blog by a bloke will he comment at.
Dude, it's okay.
I won't think that you're gay.
(Not that there's anything wrong with that).

A Lurker in Manassas

A lurker who lives in Manassas
Likes one in my series Ekphrassis.
I'm happy, I reckon,
I hope it's the second.
Do tell! Don't just sit passing gases!

A Gal in St. Paul

There is a nice gal in St. Paul.
She likes my poem 'bout the wall.
Say so, my dear,
I'm happy to hear.
Did any read "Last Dance" at all?

A Reader near Boise

A reader that hails from near Boise,
She thinks that my page looks quite noisy.
Critique it! Write shrewdly!
I won't respond rudely.
It's not as though I'm from New Joisey!

(My apologies to the people of the great state of New Jersey for any offense that I may have caused.)

A Man from Nantucket

There once was a man from Nantucket.
He started a note then did chuck it.
You're not painting Monets.
Now grow some cojones!
I care enough that---oh, fuck it.

These limericks were composed for Love Our Lurkers, a wonderful tradition started by Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts. Love Our Lurkers is a chance for us bloggers to show our appreciation to those who read our site, but for whatever reason choose not to comment. The other purpose, of course, is to encourage these lurkers to de-lurk: that is, to take the plunge and leave a comment. So let me say that I am grateful for all the readers of my blog, be they participants or lurkers. I hope that you enjoy what you find here. If you lurk at Ecce Spanko, or are just stopping by now, please consider leaving a comment on this post and on any others you wish. I consider most of my posts timeless, so there's no need to be hesitant about leaving comments on stuff I wrote a while ago. Be sure also to visit the many other sites participating in LOL.

Credits:

Photo of swell ass courtesy of Ass Attack!, author unknown.
Image composition of Shakespeare and spanked lady by Dioneo Daspanca. I forget where the component images come from, except that the brush comes from the famous Norman Rockwell illustration.
Handshake frame from Predator, acquired from Google Images.
Photo of lady fishing by Andrew Lucas, via Tush.
Photo of lady standing at wall courtesy of Time Out! via MarQe's Study.
Photo of schoolgirl from SpankingScenes, via Poppy's Submissions. Enhanced by Dioneo Daspanca.
Photo of man fishing off Nantucket acquired from Google Images.

High/Low Captions #1

2010-10-20T09:00:00.000-04:00

Connoisseurs of the adult blogosphere know that the captioned photograph is a popular theme. (Or is that "meme"?) I've often enjoyed captioned photos as a reader and have intended to incorporate them more into Ecce Spanko for some time. But I'm so indecisive. As I look at any given photo, I can't decide whether to try to be poetic or cheeky. So I'll hedge my bets and hope that you'll enjoy at least one of my takes on each image.

Sudden soft steps sensed behind, she turns.
Is she startled by her cat or by her lover?

Try as I may, I could not get a good shot of her pussy.

After a moment lost in imagined embrace,
the warrior returns to battle,
as much a tiger upon the court
as a kitten betwixt the sheets.

I have a sudden urge to play volleyball right now.

In the midst of night,
a bird takes flight
as a feathering breeze delivers delight.

Okay, I concede that stroke was a little too hard.

Photo of leaping pussy courtesy of La Dolce Vita, original author unknown.
Photo of volleyball player courtesy of Pepe Boricua, Booty Hunter. Original author unknown.
Photo of airbone, naked lady courtesy of Here to Stay, via Sexydeer. Original author unknown.

Eros Unbound

2010-10-18T23:53:00.000-04:00

Squirrel hoards acorns...

Maple leaves in shades of red

Quilt the forest floor.

In other words, I would like to announce that I have started a photo blog on Tumblr, entitled Eros Unbound. My initial aim with Eros Unbound was merely to have an easy way to tag photos that I could eventually use here. I still see that as its primary role. Tumblr is a very convenient platform for catching photos that I intend use for one purpose or another (er...or yet another). I didn't even intend to publicize Eros Unbound at first. However, as I accumulate more photos there than I will ever be able to use for Ecce Spanko, and as I have gained a real appreciation for Tumblr-style blogging, I decided to tell you all about it.

I don't want this announcement to be seen as a move away from Ecce Spanko or anything like that. I realize my frequency of posting here waxes and wanes. But I remain committed to Ecce Spanko, at least for the time being.

Let me explain my initial objection to Tumblr and my coming around. On the seedier side of Poetry, there is the cluttered neighborhood of Flarf, a shanty-town with little rhyme or reason in its composition. When I first arrived at Tumblr, it reminded me of Flarf, only with many more brightly colored walls. Neighbors pillaged neighbors. Very little original construction seemed to go on. But, unlike Flarf, Tumblr was pretty, the way the soulless sprawl of a McMansion-ville is still pleasing to the eye. So I stayed awhile and roamed the streets.

On my walks, I sometimes came upon works of true architecture, and the streets from these often led to other beauties. Soon I began to see that Tumblr, just as its neighbors Blogspot and Wordpress, has scattered among the sprawl quite a few masterpieces. In an Erotic Garden, I found a florist who mixes original seedlings with flowers and bushes, light and dark, replanted from elsewhere. I always look forward to strolling through her garden to see what has blossomed, even if I at times have a prickly reaction to the phallic cacti. From there, the road led me to the playful Aphrodite, who has constructed a marvelous multimedia manor. From there, I toured the concept art and porn of Art or Porn. And then there are the boldly visual estates of Erotic Guru and Simple Wishes, after which I have modeled my own home. There are other gems, of course, you need only patience and a good pair of walking shoes to find them.

I'll break the metaphor here. In principle, Tumblr blogs need not be any different from Blogspot or Wordpress blogs. However, design affects usage patterns, and Tumblr's design encourages the reblogging (and reblogging and reblogging) of images. But there's art here, or at least expression. Whenever I come across a new Tumblr blog, I immediately go to the archives page. Even if there is not a convenient "Archive" link on the blog's main page, you can almost always get there by sticking "/archive" at the end of the blog's main URL. What you see is often a stunning montage of the blogger's travels, a patchwork quilt of three-click reactions as he scrolled through his dashboard feed. I invite you to take a look at my archive to see my reactions--and attractions. Nature, red, water, booze, skin, woman, cheeks, smiles. Oh yeah, and spanking.

I am sad to say that, since I first drafted this post, Chocolate Puss has closed her Erotic Garden. This is quite a loss for all of us. I wish her well in whatever pursuits she is undertaking.

As for Ecce Spanko, I hope to have some more posts ready soon. On Thursday, I will be participating for the first time in Love Our Lurkers. My next canto of the Ecce Spanko poem is almost finished and I should have another Ekphrassis post soon as well. For now, please check out Eros Unbound.

Cooking Lessons: Leftovers

2010-10-09T09:00:00.003-04:00

Here are a few image compositions that I put together for "Cooking Lessons." I didn't use them in the essay mainly for lack of space, but also because they didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. Better compositions (in my opinion) can be found in Part 3 especially.

"Ya gotta find the sweet spot
on these rumps, boy."

Photo of Emeril Lagasse acquired from Google Images. Photo of bent over lady courtesy of Lupus Spanking. Composition by Dioneo Daspanca.

"Is she well done enough for you, sir?
Or shall I roast her some more?"

Photo of ladies from Muki's Kitchen. Wooden spoon acquired from Google Images. Composition by Dioneo Daspanca.

I didn't do anything to this last one, nor does it have anything to do with spanking, but if you haven't seen Rachael Ray "threading" corn, you definitely should. You can find the video by googling "rachael ray corn porn".

Bon appetit!

Friday Flash Fiction: Stamina

2010-10-08T00:00:00.000-04:00

Mangled puppies...Mickey Mouse vomitting...grandma...

I'm on the brink, but I've got to hold off, to resist this most male of all urges. And you're not making it easier.

As I watch you, I can think only of when you would be kneeling for me alone, taking hold of no other but mine. You were naked then and kneeling as you sucked me...and cared for me.

No! Throw this from my thoughts! I can't... I'm going off the cliff! Fuck it, let me enjoy the fall.

Epilogue:

"Aww, Jim!" Trevor cried. "What the fuck, man? Now how the fuck am I gonna finish it?" He cast his brush forcefully to the ground. A collective groan arose from the others.

"Hey, fuck you, dipshit! Why couldn't you just use a fuckin' camera?"

(Click for details on FFF)

Here was this week's prompt:

Your challenge for this Friday, 10-8-10, is to use the photo above to write a flash fiction of 60-90 words. And....let's try this for a required phrase: "...taking hold..."

Image "Chaotic Art 2" by Kaji, via Erotic Flash Fiction.

Cooking Lessons: Part 3 of 3

2010-10-06T17:30:00.002-04:00

In Part 1 of this work, I began an examination what spankos and cooks can learn from each other. I built on this theme in Part 2, and left off with a lament about the relative paucity of the spanko vocabulary compared to the culinary one.

Lapses in perkiness will not be tolerated.

Beyond lexical development, it would be nice to see adult spanking enter into mainstream culture the way cooking has. We already have celebrity spankos, now all they need is a cable network! Audrey Knight would make a fine host of 40 Whallops a Day and 30-Minute Ordeals. Richard Windsor could be our Al Roker with Richard on the Road, or our Brian Boitano with How Would Ricard Windsor Spank? And Thomas and Cookie could start new TV franchises like the Birchwood Cooking Academy and the Cookie Jar.

Hopefully, we could convince some of our beloved spanko bloggers to take their shows to the televised medium. Todd and Suzy could host All-American Spanking Festivals and could use their novel dieting technique in Healty Appetite with Todd and Suzy. Perhaps Bonnie could be our Barebutt Contessa, or start a new show called Sunday Brunch. I hope Miss Pink will take the Bobby Flay role, as she'd be a sure fit for Pulldown! and Toy Meets Girl. We'll need game shows, of course, because that's the thing to do these days. Let's recruit the creators of Chopped and have them develop for spanko bloggers called Chrossed, with big hits as the prize.

But we'd need more folks to step up! Who will host Bash the Behind or 5 Implement Fix or Have Paddle, Will Travel? There are so many Food Network shows crying for spanko-adaptation. Hell, we wouldn't even need to change the names of Glutton for Punishment, Unwrapped, Sarah's Secrets, Gotta Get It, Spice & Easy, Secret Life Of..., or Take It Off. Of course, I worry that our SpankoTV would follow the course of the Food Network (not to mention the History Channel and MTV) and come to air all sorts of content except actual spanking. But I digress.

"Aw, yah! BAM!"

Okay, so cooking beats spanking in mainstream acceptance. I'll bet though, that when cooking enthusiasts get together, they don't have nearly as much fun as when spankos do. I've yet to attend a spanking party, but from what I hear, they're quite a scream. When cooks get together, at least in my opinion, the fun is in the eating--well, and the drinking, but that's another essay.

Perhaps one day, I'll host my friends to a spanking dinner party. Oh, the menu I would prepare! What better appetizer for my little corner of spankotopia than a slice of spanakopita? For a first course, I'd serve a dish I call "jicama Daspanca"—it would be sure to get the attention of the crowd. To cleanse the palate and clean the slate, I'd provide an entremet that would have the ladies shouting its name: "Oh, miso sorbet!" Then, for the main course, I'd unveil a roasted rump in a cherry red wine reduction, along with a little deer seated on beet buns. As a side, each guest would have an endive stuffed with ginger. And for dessert, perhaps a red velvet bunt cake, topped, of course, with whipped cream. It would be quite a feast! Of course, we'd also have after-dinner entertainment and parlor games, but I won't bore you with those right now.

As my risotto approached fruition, I concluded that cooking and spanking share a key trait that underlies my love for each: the exertions of the process are cathartic and the results savory. I can only hope that I find as much intellectual and corporeal stimulation in my exploration of spanking as I have with cooking. I certainly wish I embraced the former as early in my life as I did the latter.

Photo of Rachael Ray courtesy of Life Magazine. Photo of Audrey Knight courtesy of Spanking360. Composition by Dioneo Daspanca.

Photo of Emeril Lagasse acquired from Google Images. Photo of spanked lady courtesy of BritSpank. Composition by Dioneo Daspanca.

Thank you to Barely Pink for reviewing a draft of this essay.

In the News: America is a Little Less Vanilla than Previously Thought

2010-10-05T18:45:00.000-04:00

An interesting study hit the wire yesterday. The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB) has published the first in a series of findings on how contemporary Americans have sex. They surveyed almost six thousand individuals from across the country between the ages of 14 and 94 and asked them surprisingly interesting questions about how they got it on. I've looked through several reports on their findings and it doesn't appear that they asked about spanking. Despite this limitation, the findings still make an important contribution to our understanding of sexuality.

Below is a summary table from the NSSHB about what Americans have been up to lately. You can click on the image to see it full-sized if the numbers are too small below. Most of us probably already suspected that not all our neighbors are having only missionary sex. Still, it's always nice to be able to point to hard data that says you're not a freak.

Having poured extensively over this data, here are the conclusions I've drawn:

16% of men between the ages of 25 and 29, and 20% of men between the ages of 30 and 39, lie to researchers in surveys on sexual behavior.
That every lovely lady I encounter spent their 20s in sapphic exploration with other beauties is statistically unfounded. Yet I will continue to believe it. Note that there is hard evidence for some such experimentation during the college years. Yes!
About 4-8% of men in their 20s are selfish. Come on, guys, it's not that bad!
It's good to see that people are masturbating together. Why not share a good thing?

Cooking Lessons: Part 2 of 3

2010-10-02T07:00:00.008-04:00

In Part 1 of my risotto-induced reflection, I wrote on the importance of patience common to both the culinary and disciplinary arts. In particular, these activities require the patience to learn a new craft.

In learning about spanking, as in learning about cooking, use of the internet is incredibly useful. Granted, before the rise of the web, aspiring cooks had books, whereas spankos had few places to look. If only we had a Julia to instruct us in our fine art on PBS. Fortunately, I'm young enough that, by the time I was emotionally ready to accept my interest in spanking, the wonderful wide world of the web was waiting for me. Whether I need to know what to do with an obscure ingredient I picked up at the market, or I need a role-play idea, the internet is an invaluable tool.

If you're really naughty,
you get the strainer.

Speaking of tools...ah yes, the tools. Sometimes I wonder if spanking and cooking are just manifestations of a broader implement fetish. Obviously, there are the implements common to each: the wooden spoons, the plastic spatulas, the cutting/paddling boards. I should note here that, Mila's sword performance notwithstanding, I think cutlery should generally be kept away from a person's naughty parts. But more generally, we clearly appreciate the importance of having the appropriate technology. Sure, substitution and ingenuity are also key, but nothing beats having the right tool. I once tried to grind peppercorns with a rolling pin, an experiment that will not be repeated. Someone once spanked me with a pewter salad spoon, another experiment that will not be repeated.

And you thought you had
a freaky implement fetish.

Just as many people have preferred implements, so too do many have preferred styles and methods. Of course, some have strong opinions on tools, styles, and methods, and don't hesitate to impress them upon others. In this area, I've actually been able to draw on lessons from spanking culture and apply them to my culinary pursuits. I occasionally cross paths with individuals who view cuisine rather rigidly. You know the type: "This dish must be prepared only in this way." Frankly, I just wish more of these Kitchen Castros would explore spanking: they could certainly learn a lot from our world. Plus, they could really use a good spanking. Anyway, I use to argue with these people, but my spanko experience has taught the value of the phrase "TEHO" ("To Each, His/Her Own"), which is now my preferred parry in culinary conflicts. I am reminded of a time when I was berated by a dinner guest for "Americanizing" bratwurst, adulterating the sacred German traditions of how to serve it. Today, I would just say "TEHO" and enjoy my meal. Truth is, I don't really recall how they serve bratwurst in Germany; I just know I like my brats with toasted buns.

There are also ways in which other spankos and I could benefit from further exploration of cooking. The spanking world is clearly less developed than the cooking world. This statement shouldn't surprise anyone, given that the cooking world has had its Joy of Cooking and Le Cordon Bleu for some time. Such resources and institutions do not yet exist for spanking, though we may dream of such a day. The contrast is especially noteworthy when we consider the richness of culinary vocabulary. I can do better than "slice" an eggplant: I can "battonet" or "alumette" or "julienne" it. We have terms for these particular sizes of rectangular cuts. But can I do more precisely than to "spank" a naughty girl? I could deliver a slap that ricochets off the upturned cheek, provoking that exquisite jiggle. Or my hand could land more heavily and perpendicular, my fingers then bending around the curve of the flesh. Yet we have no terms in use to distinguish these or any other strikes, or at least none of which I'm aware. I love our words, no doubt, but the lingua spanka is somewhat shallow.

"You burn my buns, I burn yours!"

Over time, especially as social networks among us further mature. I'm confident that the spanko glossary will grow. For now, maybe I can fill the void by borrowing from the culinary lexicon. The next time I've bared a brat, instead of the usual banter, perhaps I'll try something like the following:

Stand there, you mischievous minx,

As I sauté your bottom

And make you jump en flambé.

Then I'll roll you around my lap

And chiffonade your cheeks

Until you fall to pieces.

Will my diction make her melt? Or will it merely get her steamed?

In the concluding part of this essay, I discuss ways in which we might celebrate spanking like we do cooking.

Photo of Giada De Laurentiis acquired from Google Images. I can not find the source of the photo of lady in white shirt spanking another lady with a spatula.

Photo of smiling lady at the stove by Mark Frank at F/lthyGorgeousTh/ngs, via Cantiknya. Old photo of woman spanking maid with pot courtesy of the Spanking Blog. Composition by Dioneo Daspanca.

Friday Flash Fiction: Back on Track

2010-10-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

She struggles constantly to stay on track, to be a good girl even in lace, even without panties. But even she is at times pushed off kilter.

Like when she met him, that scalawag with charisma the magnetism of iron and breath the cold deadness of steel. On that first night, when he approached, she heard the clangor and whistle of a steam engine. He knocked her off her course. On the second night, she invited him home without inhibition.

She wore her lace for him, without panties. She reclined on the bed and opened her long, smooth legs, casting her scent. And he did feed. As he bared himself, she widened her legs fully, her gaping, dripping sex screaming for him. And he breached with the force of a locomotive. In and out he cycled, stoking the fire in her belly all night long.

But it was a coal fire, the kind that once spent leaves only coldness and soot. He's beyond the horizon; yet she stands. Weakness for her is fleeting. Now, in a golden haze of a new morning, she again treads carefully. Still in lace, still without panties, but again in balance as she advances.

(Click for details on FFF)

Here was this week's prompt:

Your challenge for this Friday, 10-1-10, is to use the photo above to
write a flash fiction of 150-200 words. Here, also, is a phrase for
you to use in your submission: "...in a golden haze..."

Image courtesy of Igor Shitikov, via Erotic Flash Fiction.

Cooking Lessons: Part 1 of 3

2010-09-29T16:30:00.006-04:00

Contestant: "I'll take 'Multisensory Activities' for $500, Alex."

Alex: "'This undertaking generates a lot of heat and often ends in tears.'"

Contestant: "What is...spanking?"

Alex: "Um...no, I'm sorry, we were looking for 'baking', 'What is baking?' You, sir, are a pervert. Next up..."

I am relatively new to the practice of spanking. Not the idea, mind you, nor the desire, nor the fantasy, nor the consumption of literature on the subject, nor of its performance art. But the practice, yes. I have little experience on which to draw. As a good interdisciplinarian, my approach is therefore to rely on expertise gained from other fields that might help me to be a better spanker.

As I surveyed my other hobbies for applicable knowledge, I was at first skeptical that cooking could provide such insights. I readily see the link between cooking and pursuits like building train sets, tuning engines, or computer programming. Hackery sure, but smackery? Spanking is inextricably collaborative. Cooking is not, or at least no more so than painting. I get very little out of self-spanking--it is integrally incomplete--but I'm perfectly fulfilled being the only one in the kitchen. To me at least, cooking is solitary and spanking social. Would this not preclude a connection between these activities? Alas, my analyses are never so concise.

"Um, what happens if I've
overcooked the pasta?"

One night, I found myself thinking more deeply about the associated marvels of the culinary and disciplinary arts. Maybe it was the meditative tedium of stirring risotto, the yantra of the arborio in its broth. Or maybe it was the timber touch of the spoon guiding the kernels along their course. Would my experience over a stove help me in heating someone over my knee? Would I be as attuned to the constitution of a cussed as I am to the condition of a custard? Incidentally, I also wondered how many of my favorite food celebrities are also into spanking--so Giada, if you're out there, love, please send me a message.

Perhaps because of the dish I was preparing at the time, the patience that cooking teaches was the first thought that came to mind. Within my first couple of spanking experiences, I realized that reddening butt was quite different than browning meat. Such crimsoning is more akin to making a roux, requiring care and attention to the progression and distribution of color. I'll admit that, on more than one occasion, impatience has led me to burn my flower, making her reluctant to revisit my kitchen.

Cooking has also taught me patience in another sense: that is, patience in learning a craft. I've taken this lesson to spanking as well. It is as easy to dabble in spanking as in cooking. With each, however, there is a lot to learn. And there is definitely such thing as skill. I can't just put on a toque blanche and call myself a master chef. Nor would I be able to satisfy every itchy sub just because I had chosen "Spanker" in my SpankoLife profile. The first time I tried to peel a tomato, I ended up with a pulpy, red mess. Were I to all of a sudden take up a cane, I fear that the first time around I'd end up with the same.

In the next part of this essay, I will consider the common importance of tools as well as some key ways in which the two communities can learn from each other.

Photo "Львица домашняя" ("Lioness Home") by Alexxei, via Visual Clips. Photo of lady opening pot courtesy of Curvature, original source unkown. Photo of pears enhanced by Dioneo Daspanca, original source unknown.

Ekphrassis 5 (Felicity)

2010-09-27T17:30:00.013-04:00

What a peculiar girl you are. Wherefore this joy of spanking? Do you find happiness in the pain? Assurance in the embarrassment? Do you find liberation in the surrender? You seem to feel most free when over my knee and bound by my arms, most at ease when your tears flood your cheeks and your bottom burns against the air. How strange!

I may not understand its source, but I know happiness when I meet it. You are happy. I can see it in your airborne celebration of nudity and unrestrained submission. I knew you would enjoy getting away for the weekend: away from your apartment, away from your work, away from the grounding constraints of quotidian life. We got in late last night and so I did not have time to reacquaint my hand with your derriere. After a nice fuck, you drifted off to sleep in my arms, perchance to dream of what's to come today.

And now awake, elated, you sing like a robin out for her first flight of the morning. I hope we lack neighbors, else your bouncing and singing are sure to wake them. Then again, they would surely later hear my percutient palms tapping rhythmically against a fleshy timbrel. Would it temper your enthusiasm to know that strangers hear us through the walls? Would you worry with every slap that they knew you were getting a spanking only ten feet away? Would it embarrass you to think that they would envision you draped bare-bottomed over my knee just as you would actually be? If we met them in the hall, would you rush into the room to hide? Or would you just smile at them, and give your tush a light rub after they passed, knowing that they would have turned their heads back to see. I think the latter for sure. After all, our room is next to the parking lot and you haven't bothered to close the shades.

Photo courtesy of Filthy Nacre, original source unknown.

I Play an Instrument

2010-09-22T18:30:00.009-04:00

I play an instrument
That pipes like a flute when percussed,
  And hums like an oboe when strummed,
  And sings like strings when tounged.

I play an instrument
That I can play with my fingers,
  And my hands,
  And my very own bow.

I play an instrument
That lubricates at the sound of a clapper,
  And chirps at the sight of a piccolo,
  And swells at the touch of bongo drums.

I play an instrument
That sounds dulcet,
  And guttural,
  And bombastic.

I play an instrument
That I can make vibrate like a timpani,
  And whir like a bagpipe,
  And wail like a trumpet.

I play an instrument
That never needs to be tuned,
  And sounds lovely when wet,
  And can even play itself.

I play an instrument
That has the curves of a cello,
  And the shine of a saxophone,
  And the grace of a harp.

Photo courtesy of Chocolate Puss's Erotic Garden, original source unknown.

Worker bee lands...

2010-09-21T18:30:00.009-04:00

Worker bee lands...
Sun warms hydrangea petals
In between rain storms.

In other words, I've been able to devote some time over the past couple of days to finishing up a couple of posts that I've been working on sporadically. If you haven't totally tuned out of this blog yet, then please stay tuned for what's coming up. I'll post a repetitive poem tomorrow and I hope to participate in Friday Flash Fiction this week. Next week, I plan to post a humor piece that has been sitting on the assembly line for some time. After that, I'll have another post in the Ekphrassis series and soon after another canto of my Ecce Spanko poem. After that, who the hell knows?

Thank you for your continued patience.

Friday Flash Fiction: The Candles

2010-09-10T00:00:00.020-04:00

She wants one more moment in the tub. She needs once more to feel his presence, if only a fleeting whisper. Tears meet smile as she relives his touch. In the soothing warmth of wetness, she remembers riding him in this tub, feeling him deeply in her. She feels him as vividly as she pictures him, his skin glistening in the candlelight--the same candles. She lit them this night, as on eight occasions prior, to remember what the candles' glow was like on their final night together.

(Click for details on FFF)

Here was this week's prompt:

Your challenge for this Friday, 9-10-10, is to use the photo above to write a flash fiction of 60-88 words. Here's a phrase for you to use in your submission: "...the candles' glow was like..."

Image "Into Tub" courtesy of Kathy Slamen, via Erotic Flash Fiction.

Apology Limerick

2010-09-07T18:29:00.003-04:00

"Worry not, dear readers!
I will surely convey your
displeasure to this slacker!"

So shameful this blog that I've hosted,
Approaching a week since I've posted.
I haven't had time,
For spanko-themed rhyme.
It should be my butt that gets toasted!

In other words, I apologize that I have neglected you, dear readers. I hope that my current dearth of time and inspiration is short-lived and that I may soon return to posting regularly.

Photo Haiku: Natural Red -- 7 of 7

2010-09-01T15:00:00.005-04:00

Breathing field...
Scents of past encrimsoned,
As she looks forward.

This concludes the "Natural Red" photo-haiku series. I hope that you have enjoyed the series and I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

We now return our focus back from red hair to red heinie...

Photo "Ruslana Korshunova" by Mario Sorrenti, via Daily Redhead.

Photo Haiku: Natural Red -- 6 of 7

2010-08-31T15:00:00.001-04:00

Earthen fountain...
Grains fall from red to white,
Eroding woman.

Image courtesy of A Simple Space Annex, author unknown.

Photo Haiku: Natural Red -- 5 of 7

2010-08-30T15:00:00.002-04:00

Radiant peaks...
Smiling lips shine,
Warming grass.

Image courtesy of abbywinters.com, via Daily Redhead.

Photo Haiku: Natural Red -- 4 of 7

2010-08-29T15:00:00.002-04:00

Lost red kitten...
Nimble fingers searching
For place to play.

Photo "Kia A" by Jon Barry, via Erotic Guru.

Photo Haiku: Natural Red -- 3 of 7

2010-08-28T15:00:00.003-04:00

Flame quenched by roses...
The pleasing scent of green
Wafts from her collar.

Image courtesy of Erotic Guru, author unknown.

Photo Haiku: Natural Red -- 2 of 7

2010-08-27T15:00:00.003-04:00

Flower among weeds...
Woven fire and lace
Cover pearl.

Photo by Horst Diekgerdes, via Daily Redhead.

Photo Haiku: Natural Red -- 1 of 7

2010-08-26T15:00:00.003-04:00

Morning flame...
Tickle of steaming pond
Between her legs.

These times are especially busy for me and, as a consequence, my creative output has diminished (really, I couldn't even think of a good metaphor here). I figure that this is a good opportunity to introduce a new filler--er, feature to this blog. I do hope that you enjoy this series of photo-inspired haiku. Next week, this blog will return to its regular spanko content.

Photo "Golden" by Dmitriy Sharov, via Daily Redhead.

Ekphrassis 4 (Catherine)

2010-08-24T15:00:00.006-04:00

Shame does not rinse away so easily, does it? The shower fails to cleanse; the scalding assault only drew out a blush upon which the residue droplets now give you chill. And so you hide. The towel may shield your eyes from mine, but you can still feel my stare bearing down on you. That towel will become drenched in your tears, become heavy, and only add to your burden.

You are ashamed of yourself. You told me you didn't do that. You told me you're not that kind of girl. And yet there you were, in the shower, hand trapped and face blushed. Even through the torrent I could see your tears commence as your private world was breached. You want to bury yourself in that towel now that your wantonness is uncovered.

You should be ashamed of yourself: not for the act, but for the secret. You are to reveal yourself completely to me, to bare all of your desires. It is for the lie that you will be punished. Once you take your position on the bed, the remnant droplets on your bottom will accentuate the sting as my leather paddle imparts on you the importance of honesty. Afterward, you will flip onto your back and make your premiere, a recital taken to completion. Not in secret, but in the open. All of you will be under my gaze, including your eyes. You will watch me as I watch you. You will see that you are no longer hidden. You will be embarrassed, but without shame. Come now, let's begin the cleansing.

Photo "Маша" by Pavlov Oleg, via Tush.

Friday Flash Fiction: Les Domestiques

2010-08-20T08:39:00.002-04:00

The lady and her maids bathed in the afterglow of their sapphic festivity. One maid emerged from beneath her lady's dress, hair disheveled, still tasting on her pouty lips the juice from noble fruit. While the one had serviced under the dress, the other, taller maid had held her mistress, caressing her cheek and staring intently into her eyes, their noses touching, their breath warming each others' faces. She had watched her lady over the course of la petite mort, guiding her to death and back. The three women turned their heads to the mirror, the maids diverting their gaze from their lady to each other. Their panties were soaked in anticipation of her departure, though their eyes were somehow accusing each other of trying just a little too hard to win the young domina's affection.

(Click for details on FFF)

Here was this week's prompt:

Your challenge for this Friday, 8-20-10, is to use the photo above to write a flash fiction of 87-137 words. Since everyone seems to be enjoying the required phrases, please use this phrase in your submission: "...their eyes were somehow accusing..."

Photo courtesy of Charles; artist and source unknown.

Unbridled mare waits...

2010-08-19T08:16:00.001-04:00

Unbridled mare waits...
Fighting verses at the front,
And itching in back.

In other words, check out "Battle of Wills" by Cowgirl, a new spanko poet.

The Last Dance of the Damned

2010-08-17T08:00:00.005-04:00

Seam of heaven torn,
Sky births sea.
Dropless rain pummels
Without compassion.
Our clothes, our hair, our skin
Saturated.
Our lust insatiate.
Our thirst unquenched.

Violent deluge chokes our sight,
But washes not away the taste of skin.
Entangled, we feast,
To consume one another
Before taken by the sea,
To meet our end
Not with a whimper,
But an orgasmic scream
That almost pushes back the torrent.

For while pure in heart,
We were not in mind nor deed,
And so denied boarding,
Cast away,
Driven, beaten, hammered with invective,
From deliverance-vessel.

Left,
To drown as we revel,
To die as we have lived,
To burn as we have loved.
Lost in the diluvial finish,
The ultimate embrace,
The last dance of the damned.

This image was the subject of a Flash Fiction Friday last month (July 9, 2010). I didn't participate then because I didn't yet have a blog, but the image was too inviting for me not to write something. The prompt for the FFF was:

Your challenge for this Friday, 7-9-10, was to use the photo above to write a flash fiction of 48-148 words. I also provided a key phrase for use somewhere in the submission: "...driven, beaten, hammered..."

Image provided by Luna Mauvaise, original source unknown.

Some Sunday Silliness

2010-08-15T15:00:00.030-04:00

Take a guess at how much that stormtrooper action figure you're now holding is worth.

Um, five bucks?

Ha! No, my collectors guide values it at $18.20. It's from the early 80s.

Aren't you from the early 80s?

I am, you brat. Now guess how much that same action figure was worth before you removed it from its original packaging.

$18.20?

No, my dear, $129.50.

That's crazy! What kind of nerd would pay that much money for a little doll?

It's an 'action figure'. And there are a lot of wealthy nerds out there with nostalgia for their youth.

Were you ever going to sell it?

No, of course not.

Well then how is the market value relevant?

Because it...that's not the point. You still devalued it.

Fine, I'm sorry I devalued your dolly.

'Action figure'! And you surely will be sorry. I'm going to have to think about how to best punish you.

I have a feeling I'm getting a spanking.

Of course, my love, but it has to be a fitting punishment.

You're not going to spank me with your plastic lightsaber again, are you?

Tempting, but no, I don't want to put more dents in it.

Is there any way I can make it up to you without getting my bum spanked? How about if I call you 'Han Solo' again while we're making love?

Hmm, don't think so.

'Emperor Palpatine'?

Mmmm, Dark Side sex...tempting, but no, you need to be punished.

You could make me sit through the original trilogy again.

But that wouldn't be...you're just bratting now. Maybe, though, I will make you sit through them, on a very sore butt that is.

What if I put my hair in those cinnabun things?

Nah, not worth it. But I do wish I had a stormtrooper costume. That would make the spanking fit the crime beautifully.

Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?

Now you're being mean, and only increasing your punishment.

No, I'm not. Mean would be if I said that when you took your skivvies off.

Let's not go there. You're in enough trouble as it is.

Oh, just spank me and get it over with, fly boy.

As you wish. I tell you what, I'm going to spank you with the overture playing...

It could be worse...

...with the bathbrush.

Oh, come on!

Ready?

Put that thing away!

Here we go...dah dah dah Daaaah...

Ooh! Please... Ah!

Hopefully this will teach you not to touch my collectors' items.

Aahh! Grrrr. The more you tighten your grip, the more dollies will slip through your fingers--Ow!

Keep it up, missy. Your ass is going to be as sore as a Tusken Raider's after a long day of Bantha riding.

Ouch! No way, your powers are weak, old man.

I'm 29.

Aiee! Still, you don't have the endurance to swing that brush for long.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Owweee!

You are such a brat! I bet that brat Leia is your favorite character.

Aah, ow! Nuh uh, my fave is Jar Jar Binks. Oww!

You better stop being so fresh, else that trooper will storm Uranus.

Only you could be so bold. Aahh!

Your ass is getting as red as the planet Yavin.

Oh, mmm, I'm sorry I took your 'action figure' out of its packaging.

Good, I hope you learned your lesson. But you're grounded for the rest of the week.

Aww, but I was going out to pick up some power converters...

Worst... Ouch! line... Aaah! ever! Owwwww!

Have you had enough? You know what I want to hear from you.
Oh, don't make me say it. It's so stupid--Ouch!
I grow tired of your resistance. Tell me what I want to hear.
Fine... Dantooine.
You see, I knew you could be reasonable. Now, do you have anything else to say for yourself?

Well, there is one thing...

What's that?

While you have the bathbrush out and all, we should talk about what I may have done with your Indiana Jones collection...

Image courtesy of Tush.

Flash Fiction Friday: Fusion

2010-08-13T00:00:00.002-04:00

Across the floor, he spotted her nude form. Her body glowed in the wash of crimson light, a beacon in the darkened room, beckoning his approach. She said nothing as he neared, nor as he wrapped his arm around her belly. They now bask in one another, their bodies radiating in the cold emptiness of the room. As their temperatures rise, her sex melts over him and they become one, fused like molten steel in their ardent fuck. Their skin bleeds together as they rock back and forth in the glow. United, forged in passion, they stand apart from the world, a single flame in the darkness.

(Click for details on FFF)

Here was this week's prompt:

Your challenge for this Friday, 8-13-10, is to use the photo above to write a flash fiction of 80-120 words. Since everyone seems to be enjoying the required phrases, please use this phrase in your submission: "...her body glowed in the wash of crimson light..."

Image courtesy of Carter Vaughn, via Erotic Flash Fiction.

Swans at play on pond...

2010-08-12T08:00:00.006-04:00

Swans at play on pond...
Rain and rose frolic, splashing,
Weaving narratives.

In other words, I recommend you read the accounts of Miss Pink and Rayne about their evening together back in July. Pink's version of the event starts here and Rayne's here.

Ekphrassis 3 (Oletha)

2010-08-10T21:00:00.005-04:00

Fear not, my nimble beauty, that sound is but a bear or beaver. There's nobody for miles but us. You are free to frolic as you please, to explore nature as a naturalist. The blues and greens of the river and woods provide an idyllic background for the paleness of your skin. The jagged edges of the rocks seem tamed by your graceful curves. Natural beauty among natural beauty.

You stand astride these rocks with long and luscious legs, two sides of an equilateral triangle with heaven atop. With those legs, could you straddle Gibraltar? I could surely think of no better entrance to the Mediterranean than that! I would love to sail through such a gate, tickling you with my flag as I pass by.

Relax, my precious, I'm quite sure we're alone. My my, how shy for an exhibitionist. I know, you want to save your secrets for me. Good girl. When we get to a nice spot, we'll have to stop for a bit and explore another of your secrets. Here in the woods, on the bank of the river, I'll find a rock where I can sit. You'll reveal yourself once again. You'll tell me about those desires you've hidden almost your entire life, those needs you've tried to suppress, to drown. Then, on this river bank, I'll provide you exactly what you have always been wanting.

Don't worry, my sweet, no one will hear or see but me. When I put you over my lap for your spanking, my eyes alone will feast on those supple cheeks. I'm the only one who will see your bare bottom amble through lovely shades of red. Only you and I will hear the slaps as my hand rains down on your butt. Only you and I will hear your whine dance among the rocks and see your tears flood the riverbank. And after your spanking, when, still across my lap, you scream in release as my fingers play, only we will be around to enjoy it. Only I will see the crinkles of your eyes and nose as you come, and only I will receive your deep, teary glare afterward as you thank me for giving you what you have always desired, for restoring your balance.

Photograph by Stefan Soell, courtesy of Best Bums in the World.

Waiting at Brick Wall

2010-08-08T15:21:00.000-04:00

I am to wait, though waiting so be hell;

Not blame your pleasure, be it ill or well.

-- William Shakespeare, Sonnet 58

Cold brick wall cools the blush.
Shame-fever eased by dispersion,
Malapert longs for diversion,
To think not of the brush.

White brick wall reflects sorrow.
Penitent revealed completely,
Hoping that he acts discreetly,
Else dreading tomorrow.

Thick brick wall muffles sound.
Murmuring from celebration
Driving sense of isolation
And fear of secrets found.

Rough brick wall tickles brow.
Quivering from bass transmitted,
Guilt and shame o'er deeds committed,
Both feed churning stomach now.

To brick wall she will sing.
Whimpering, gut wrenched in her woes,
Waiting there trembling, for she knows
What nearing footsteps bring.

Image courtesy of Time Out! via MarQe's Study.

Flash Fiction Friday: Release

2010-08-06T00:00:00.007-04:00

She has closed her portfolio and rehung her drab suit. She no longer clouds her mind with analysis or calculation. The professional has retired for the day; the animal emerges. Her dark mane, only minutes ago bound tightly by pins, now plays freely on the sheets. Her breasts, buried all day under cotton, now bask in the open air.

She feels him, but even as he lifts her, she seems almost unaware of his presence. Tonight is not about romance or the meeting of souls. Tonight is about her: selfish sex. Not about connection, but about release.

Her cry swells as her body arches further. Tense in her loins, calmed in her mind, she savors the oscillating rhythm. From the apex, she is drifting, floating, crashing to earth as the cycle completes. She reaches for climax, the summit of her day. As the undulation continues, the pulsation overtakes her. Her body tensed and stretched, a final cry drives out the burdens of her work. At the ebb, her mind is relaxed and her spirit renewed.

(Click for details on FFF)

Here was this week's prompt:

Your challenge for this Friday, 8-6-10, is to use the photo above to write a flash fiction of 134-184 words. Since everyone seems to be enjoying the required phrases, please use this phrase in your submission: "...drifting, floating, crashing to earth..."

Image courtesy of Samantha Wolov, via Erotic Flash Fiction.

Muse Flash: Shakespeare was a Spanko

2010-08-01T12:00:00.001-04:00

Spanker of the Mind and Body

CHICAGO, April 26 (AP) -- Did you know that William Shakespeare, often considered the greatest playwright in the history of the English language, was a spanko? A typical fan of fannies will recognize the leading line from his spanko version of Hamlet's famous soliloquy: "To spank, or not to spank,--wait, there's no question" (III.i). But are you aware that Macbeth was originally envisioned as a BDSM comedy, where "Nice is naughty, and naughty is nice" (I.i)?

A landmark study out of the University of Chicago (where else?) has struck the world of Shakespearean literature with its findings. Drawing on a newly discovered collection of the Bard's scratch work, the research team has uncovered startling insights into Shakespeare's inspiration. "Our goal is to bare it all," said the study's lead author, Professor Slender Escanes.

Spankophilic scholars have long suspected Shakespeare as having tushist proclivities. Scattered hints to the Bard's credentials permeate his body of work, including the presence of characters such as Bottom (A Midsummer-Night's Dream), Pinch (Comedy of Errors), and of course Dr. Butts (King Henry VIII). Now, however, Prof. Escanes's research team has been able to provide concrete evidence that Shakespeare's known plays were in fact derived from spankodramas that the playwright felt unable to publish as originally composed.

For example, the dramatist apparently intended Calphurnia's plea to Caesar not as a foreboding vision of the great warrior's death, but as a bratty protest against the ritualistic lesbian exhibitionism and discipline to which she was routinely subject.

Calphurnia:	Caesar, I never stood on ceremonies,
	Yet now they fright me...
	Ladies did lay, and spying men did moan;
	And girls did shriek and squeal about the sheets.
	O Caesar, spankings are unwelcome news,
	And I do fear them!
(Julius Caesar II.ii)

The trove of documents, found standing in the corner in an old Victorian manor, contained thousands of pages, parchment scraps, and Stick-Ye Notices from Elizabethan times. Acquired from a flea market by a long deceased implement collector, the documents are like pieces of an unassembled puzzle. Each scrap contains a few verses that resemble Shakespeare's known writing, and yet, convey a fascination--some would say obsession--with spanking and related activities. While their work is ongoing, Prof. Escanes and his team have been able to recognize parallels of many known verses and have pieced together heretofore unknown interpretations of several of the Bard's most famous plays.

Consider the Scottish play whose name many dare not utter. While Macbeth (oops) has been adapted to other contexts and interpretations by dramatists over the centuries, the documents reveal it to have been originally a very different tale. Most drama lovers understand the character Macbeth to be a murderous usurper who tests fate, becomes consumed by narcissism, and destroys everything around him. But initially, he was just a Wiccan-loving sadist who got off on tanning his lady every now and then. In the original version of one of the play's famous scenes, we see the Scottish thane is merely badgering his naughty wife while she bawls over his lap, her chastisement about to commence.

Macbeth:	Whence is that crying?
	How is't with me, when every scream enthralls me?
	What hands are here? Hah! The tears from thine eyes
	Will fill great Neptune's ocean. Watch this flood!
	Free from my hand? No; this my hand will rather
	The maxiglutean cheeks incarnadine,
	Making the pale ones red.
(Macbeth II.i)

Look, as I blow this feather from my face,
As she surely knows what for her awaits,
Obliging with this hand when she is good,
And wielding with my other when she's not.

Upon discovery, the collection immediately drew the attention of scholars. The American Shakespearean Society joined forces with Todd and Suzy to prepare, with economy of acronym, a painstaking analysis of the archive. Professor Escanes was tapped to instruct and lead a research team.

The team's first task was to ease access to the Annals of Anne Hathaway, as the collection of texts came to be called. The Board of Bard Discipline, which held the access rights to the Annals, initially was quite retentive, citing several sensitive matters that first needed to be addressed. When asked about the sensitivity of the Annals, Professor Escanes pointed out a figure in the Annals synopsis. "It is a burning issue," the professor remarked as he gingerly explained the recorded incidents of inappropriate access. The Board had allowed the professor a peak at its Annals, but required a show of greater discipline among the team. The research team was eventually able to negotiate entry to a wider part of the collection, even soothing the sting caused by such rough application of the Board's policies.

Once the Annals were fully exposed, the digitization could begin. Only then was the team able to delicately probe the archives to glean insights into Shakespeare's repressed spankanima. While the team worked in secret, their exertions were leaked before completion to the Pink Report, which barely published the premature emission (the leakers now face disciplinary inaction).

Among the first controversies settled by the team was Shakespeare's role preference. Given his uncanny ability to discover and elucidate all sides of the human soul, the team readily concluded that Shakespeare was a switch. "Switches make the best playwrights," the professor explained. The Bard's acuity in both roles is demonstrated throughout the spanko verses. On the one hand, he dishes out verbal torments on par with the most able spanker, such as in Richard III: "Bratty thou art, bloodshot will be thy end!" (IV.iv). On the other hand, his submissive characters often deliver exquisitely sassy lines as well, as with Portia to Brutus: "With an angry wafture of your hand, gave sign for me to peeve you" (Julius Caesar II.i).

As the team examined the archives further, they turned up a number of interesting finds. For instance, The Taming of the Shrew has been long thought to be among the most M/F of Shakespeare's plays. In its original form, however, it is interestingly far more balanced. With the spanko version of Shrew, one finds a story of a battle of wits and will between a dom and domme, mistakenly matched up by Spankfinder.

Katharina:	I knew at the first
	You were a submissive.
Petruchio:	What, me a submissive?
Katharina:	A pain-slut. [strikes]
Petruchio:	Thou hast hit me: come, over my knee.
Katharina:	Asses are made to bare, and I will you.
Petruchio:	Women are made to bare, and I will you.
Katharina:	No such play for you, if me you mean.
Petruchio:	Alas, pet Kate, I will not humor thee!
	For, spanking thee for me would give delight,--
Katharina:	Delight for me is pain for you, you bitch;
	And bet as heavy that my hand will be.
Petruchio:	Spank me? should---bah
Katharina:	Well tanned, and like a sissy.
Petruchio:	O bend o'er bad girl! shall a paddle make thee!
Katharina:	Ay, for a subbie, as he takes a lickin'.
Petruchio:	Come, come, you wasp; i' truth, you are too bratty.
Katharina:	If I be waspish, best beware my sting.
Petruchio:	My remedy is then, to pluck it out.
Katharina:	Ay, if the fool could find it where it lies,
Petruchio:	Who knows not where a brat will
	wear her sting? In her tail.
Katharina:	With your tongue.
Petruchio:	Why tongue?
Katharina:	Sure, if you talk of tails: and so lie back.
Petruchio:	What, put my tongue in your tail? nay, come again,
	Pet Kate; I am a dominant—
(The Taming of the Shrew II.i)

The team struggled to fill several gaping holes in the spanko representation of Shakespeare's body of work. Even after a few months of probing the documents, the team could not find clues to the origin of Romeo and Juliet. The team called on an expert, Bonnie, M.B.S, to assist in the uncovering. Bonnie's investigation found that Romeo and Juliet was originally a story of two spanking neophytes exploring their newly discovered kink, as evidenced by the following verse:

Romeo:	O, squirm again, bright angel! for thine ass
	Is glorious to my sight, being o'er my knee
	As if a pale, supple gift of heaven.
	Onto the white-upturned butt and back thighs
	My right palm doth fall quick a blaze on them.
	Then my finger makes lazy-pacing rounds
	And trails along the valley of the rear.
Juliet:	O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore touch there, Romeo?
	Deny thy pleasure and refuse thy game;
	Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
	And I'll no longer be a devilet.
Romeo:	[Aside] Shall I tease more, or shall I spank at this?
(Romeo and Juliet II.ii)

The team was very impressed with Bonnie's work and awarded her their Special Chair of Spankosophical Wit for her contributions.

She casts her mind to Crimson Moon:
in most strange postures
we will see her set herself.

Antony and Cleopatra remains a play on which there persists a lack of evidence, perplexing the team. "It would be very striking if Shakespeare didn't see a spanko story here," remarked Escanes. "I mean, with all the whipping and hitting and threatening dialog... I mean, come on, it has to be written by a spanko. Besides, it's a historical fact that Cleopatra was one kinky bitch." In fact, the leading hypothesis among the team was that Antony and Cleopatra was published in its original form. "It's basically a spanking play as it is," Escanes claimed, "the whole historical plot is secondary."

As with most Shakespearean scholarship, controversy arose among the team as to the authorship of the work. Did the man from Stratford-upon-Avon that we identify as William Shakespeare really write these plays? A faction arose that claimed it was all just the work of Sir Richard of Windsor, but in the end, the Stratfordian view dominated.

The research has also generated controversy from the vanilla world, where spanko disciplinary studies are often dismissed as a passing kink in a scholar's otherwise straight-laced career. Escanes assures us, however, that he has been committed to the field since his early days and that the discipline is truly needed. "Will we ever be able to convert more 'normal' Shakespearean scholars to our worldview?" the professor asked rhetorically. "I really don't know. Vanillas are so weird."

Escanes also described an incident at a conference in Cincinnati last year, where a vanilla studies scholar took issue with the team's emphasis on what she called "violent imagery" in the plays. "Clearly," Escanes chuckled, "she had never actually read any of Shakespeare's published dramas." The professor pointed out that many scenes in the Annals version are actually less macabre. For example, whereas in the standard version the moor Othello strangles his wife to death out of jealousy and suspicion, in the Annals version he merely provides her sound, but loving correction.

Othello:	One more, one more.
	Be thus when thou art bad, and I punish thee
	And love thee after. One more, and that's the last.
	So sweet was ne'er so painful. You must weep,
	But they are just tears. This paddle's heavenly,
	It strikes where it doth love.
(Othello V.ii)

Methinks I am a playwright new inspired.

Escanes wished he could say that all of the spankotexts were clear improvements on the standard versions of the plays. However, he pointed out that in Two Gentleman of Verona, Shakespeare had originally written, "That man that hath a hand, I say, is no man, if with his hand he cannot spank a woman." (III.i). "Men tend to like the spanko version," explained Escanes, who then conceded, "but among women, even spanko women, the standard text is preferred in this instance."

Prof. Escanes emphasized that there was much more work to be done in examining the original versions. Many passages have still not been found. Escanes and the team are currently recruiting spanko scholars from all over the world to search through Shakespeare's work and unveil the spanko variants.

Escanes was dismissive of the prospect that his findings would stimulate a great deal more interest in Shakespearean literature among spankophiles. "Spankos are human beings, and they need no other reason than that to read Shakespeare," he stated. When asked about what spankos around the world could best learn from Shakespeare's work, the professor turned his head to gaze out his window and sighed in momentary reflection. He then, curiously, quoted Ophelia from the standard version of the Danish prince's tale: "We know what we are, but know not what we may be." (Hamlet IV.v)

This parody has been republished from Spankolife by the author.

Ekphrassis 2 (Alby)

2010-07-30T17:50:00.003-04:00

Nicely done, my sweet. You've hooked your prey. The little fish now dangles from your line. Such a simple creature. So easily ensnared. Lured by irresistible bait, he thought himself a hunter. Now he helplessly awaits your grasp.

Ironic, isn't it, my love? A submissive in control. You wield that rod with such grace and confidence that one would cast you as a domme. But the world doesn't know you like I do. The world never hears you pleading for surrender.

Just a few more catches and we'll have ourselves a meal. You'll crawl out of those hip boots as I gather wood. I'll build a fire and grill our prize. Afterward, you'll crawl across my lap, and I'll stoke a second fire, and then a third.

I'm glad that I agreed to take you fishing today. I really did want to play golf instead. But when you appeared in that outfit, parading that pert bottom in front of me, I just couldn't say no.

Photo by Andrew Lucas, via Tush.

Contestant:	"I'll take 'Multisensory Activities' for $500, Alex."
Alex:	"'This undertaking generates a lot of heat and often ends in tears.'"
Contestant:	"What is...spanking?"
Alex:	"Um...no, I'm sorry, we were looking for 'baking', 'What is baking?' You, sir, are a pervert. Next up..."