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Friday, November 19, 2010

Friday Flash Fiction: Risk

"Drink," Laura ordered her tremulous lover. Stasia brought the bottle to her lips for a calming sip. Laura then lifted her leg.  "Now eat."

With a glance down the hallway, Stasia knelt before the well scavenged banquet. Laura lit her Parliament as she felt a familiar tongue glide across her lips. A thudding above roused their attention and soon took shape as footsteps. Stasia looked up with petrified eyes. "Please..." Laura only smiled, firmly returned Stasia's head to its place, and took another drag. For Laura, without the threat, there is no thrill. The rush of risk and papillae caress set ablaze her blood.

"Hurry," Laura commanded as the deep echo of the steps swelled.  Stasia's tongue desperately hastened.  As the metronome continued, she could feel Laura edging closer.  Suddenly the stairs creaked and Laura shrieked, drowning her gasping mate.  In the detached silence that followed, Laura drew her lover up, covered her face in smoke, and kissed her deeply, enjoying the nicotine blended with her juices.  Only in breaking their kiss did they see the blue-uniformed man approach.


"Just what do you think you're doing?"

The girls froze, their skin blushed and mouths agape, unable to reply to the cop.  The stern officer continued,

"Don't you know that smoking is prohibited in this building?  Extinguish your cigarette immediately."

Laura grabbed the bottle and dropped her cigarette into the wine.

"Okay then, have a nice evening," the officer said, then turned and continued his patrol.

(Click for details on FFF)
Here was this week's prompt:
Your challenge for this Friday, 11-19-10, is to use the photo above to write a flash fiction of 150-180 words. Your required phrase to use in your submission: "...the stairs creaked..."
  • Image courtesy of Sephani Paige, original source unknown.
  • The word "tremulous" courtesy of Barely Pink, origin unknown.


  1. Ha! Love the epilogue. I'm not so sure the officer would have let them go so easily without a pat down or a frisk.


  2. Great take on this pic. Without the threat, no thrill. Love it. And the epilogue is *perfect*!

    Happy FFF!

  3. I agree with H and Max... love the body of the FFF, but that epilogue totally makes it :-)

  4. Definitely one of my favorites for this week. Not just the completely uncaring attitude from Laura, not just the frantic attentions from Stasia, not just the artful wordplay (I think "the stairs creaked and Laura shrieked" is the best use I've heard yet) -- there's just something intangible about this one that makes it awesome. And the epilogue just seals the deal. Awesome squared.

    Great one as usual. Thanks for playing along with us again.

    -- PB

  5. without the threat, there is no thrill

    Well said and so often true, nicely done, the indifference and demanding nature sets an interesting tone.


  6. Hands down the best this week! Loved, loved this line... "The rush of risk and papillae caress set ablaze her blood." That's fucking HOT.

  7. Great writing! Dunno why the cop left though. They DID give him probable cause.

  8. what a nice officer :) I would of invited him to join in...he does have all the right tools after all! cuffs, night stick...and a gun *shiver* well done!

    Happy FFF!

  9. Teehee. I'm with the peanut gallery though; the cop definitely should have stayed to make sure they didn't light another ;)

  10. LOL! Excellent read. Laura sure knows how to whip out those instructions and Stasia sure knows how to follow them. ;-)

  11. Thanks, Hedone! Now that you mention it, I definitely agree. He should have searched them thoroughly for any remaining cigarettes.

    Thanks, Matt! I figured I needed the epilogue for closure on the scene. I wouldn't want readers to have to speculate about what went on between the two lovelies and the policeman, now would I?

    Thanks, Ida! I'm glad you enjoyed it. These are so much fun to write.

    Thanks, PB! I appreciate the kind words. I've found that I really like that with flash fiction, given the brevity, you can really concentrate on the word play and phrasing. It's closer to poetry than longer fiction, where you have to be far more concerned with plot and character development (not my strengths). It makes writing these so much fun! I just wish I could do it dependably every week.

    Thanks, David, and welcome to both my site and to FFF! Perhaps deep down, Stasia enjoyed the risk of getting caught too...or maybe she just likes being bossed around.

    Thanks, Oversexed Librarian, and welcome to the site!
    You're right, we should expect better of our law enforcement. I think at least some interrogation would be in order.

    Thanks, Sephi! The cuffs would come in very handy, I bet. The nightstick might be overdoing it--they already have a bottle after all. ooh! ;) And by the way, thank you for the great photo selection. It was a true inspiration!

    Thanks, Lexi! Agreed, he could have at least stood guard! Don't they cover these situations in training?

    Thanks, TS! Laura is indeed the boss here, but I'm sure she takes good care of her Stasia.

  12. ROFLOL!!! You forgot 'be merry'! I liked what you did a lot. The epilogue was good too.

  13. Thanks, Rozewolf! LOL, you're right: "Eat, drink, and be merry." But perhaps that part of the trinity went without saying with these two.