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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Spankophilephilia: 25 Reasons Why Spankos are So Awesome (LOL 2011)

If you are a lurker here, then chances are you're a spanko as well. If not, then at least you're probably kinky enough to appreciate spankophilia from a distance (and if not, why are you here? the poetry?). Anyway, most spankos go through periods of self-doubt about their kink. Given that you've been lurking around here and other spanking sites without so much as a comment, my guess is that you're still searching for comfort with it all. I want to help—in the only way I know how.

When I get down and discouraged about my proclivities, I find it helpful to remind myself that spankophilia isn't just some DSM-IV-TR paraphilia, it's an awesome DSM-IV-TR paraphilia! So when I was looking for a way to show love to my lurkers, I decided to focus on what makes spanking so cool (or is it 'hot'...I can never keep track).

But then I realized spanking is an awesome practice (when consensual) only because spankos are awesome people. It's the folks, not the strokes. So I thought I'd show my love for lurkers by showing my love for spankophiles.  And so we have the list below.

Let me get a disclaimer out of the way. I rushed production of this post and was not able to research as much as I'd like. Inevitably, I probably have puns or jokes below that have appeared elsewhere (hell, I've certainly recycled a few of my own). If you've seen something before on another site and can send me a link, I'll be glad to credit prior art.

Without further ado, here are 25 reasons why spankos are so awesome:
  1. We're a touchy-feely bunch, and yet still sticklers for formality.
  2. We're the reason antique shops sell hairbrushes.
  3. We're strong advocates for personal responsibility.
  4. We have an attuned sense of rhythm and percussive dynamics.
  5. We have an intuitive understanding of the physics of collisions and waves.
  6. If a song lacks a strong backbeat, we'll provide one.
  7. We know there's more than one way to roast a butt.
  8. If there's whine at the table, then we know what'll be served after dinner.
  9. We can spout off acronyms as good as anybody.
  10. We know the sound of one hand clapping.
  11. We can think of at least two uses for just about anything with a handle.
  12. We understand the importance of clean underwear.
  13. If one of us is up a creek, there's probably a paddle around.
  14. We know that brats are best with toasted buns.
  15. We've built up a lot of tolerance from our experience.
  16. We know that when the going's about to get rough, it's best just to grin and bare it.
  17. If one of us will take a bow, another will be glad to belt out a number.
  18. We know that regardless of the color of a person's skin, it can always be made red.
  19. We're quite good at keeping a count.
  20. While we may still suffer heartache, we know how to deal with a pain in the ass.
  21. While we may still have skeletons in our closets, at least we keep our corners free of cobwebs.
  22. We never forget a birthday.
  23. We get to the bottom of every question, or at least we take a crack at it.
  24. We know that for any mistake, correction is always possible.
  25. We know that no matter how painful the event, there's always an end in sight.
So now what can you do, awesome spanko? Well, why do you think spankos are awesome? Contribute a reason of your own. Or just say hello!

This list was composed for Love Our Lurkers, a wonderful tradition started by Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts.  Love Our Lurkers is a chance for us bloggers to show our appreciation to those who read our site, but for whatever reason choose not to comment.  The other purpose, of course, is to encourage these lurkers to de-lurk: that is, to take the plunge and leave a comment.  So let me say that I am grateful for all the readers of my blog, be they participants or lurkers.  I hope that you enjoy what you find here.  If you lurk at Ecce Spanko, or are just stopping by now, please consider leaving a comment on this post and on any others you wish.  I consider most of my posts timeless, so there's no need to be hesitant about leaving comments on stuff I wrote a while ago.  In particular, I invite you to enjoy my entry for last year's LOL. Be sure also to visit the many other sites participating in LOL.


  1. Not a lurker here but want to wish you a Happy LOL Day, Dioneo. I absolutely LOVE your 25 reasons! Excellent.

  2. Ooh, I know, I know! 26. We always turn the other cheek. :-D Happy LOL Day, Dioneo.

  3. An excellent list - funny, yet very true!


  4. Hi Dioneo. LOL! on LOL day. Great Blog!

    :) TMT

  5. Great LOL post Ecce ...... Have a fine day !!

    MarQe xx

  6. Hi Dioneo,

    I'm a regular visitor and an irregular commenter. Does that make me a semi-lurker? Great post!

    Thanks for being a part of LOL 6.


  7. Loved the post...and thank you so much for your lovely comments on my blog. Erm...all I can say is "Ditto".

    Happy LOL day



  8. Not a lurker but a fan.

    Heeheehee. Spanking is cool and it's hot...just like you.

    #6 is my favorite. #7 is hilarious! #17 you are so clever.



    Thanks for stopping by my place:
    The Pleasure Principle

  9. I love your list! Like Hedone, above, I'm a big fan!

  10. A noble "25" indeed!


  11. Great list. Lurk more than I comment but do enjoy your posts.


  12. Fantastic list, Dioneo!

    Particularly, "We never forget a birthday."

    I've been a long-time fan of yours -- both the blog and the man. You are always entertaining and infinitely wise.


  13. Happy LOL Day! Great post... one of the best LOL's we've read. We are awesome!

    ~Todd and Suzy

  14. Of course I'm here for the poetry! What else would I be looking for? ;-) Great list and great blog as always.

  15. Very funny! Loved this post. Happy belated!

  16. Thanks, Michael! I had a lot of fun writing this.

    Thanks, Erica! I wish I had a prize ready for you. That's an awesome addition to the list!

    Thanks, Chross! That we can laugh at ourselves is yet a reason.

    Thanks, TMT! It's great to see you here!

    Thanks, MarQe! It was indeed a wonderful day. Nothing like catching up with friends.

    Thanks, Hermione! I'm very happy to know that you visit, as I'm a big fan of your site.

    Thanks, Raven! Even if LOL were only a lovefest among bloggers, it would still be great as a chance to reconnect.

    Thanks, Hedone! It's interesting, #6 and #17 were the last two I thought of. I worried I had rushed them, so it's good to know they're a hit.

    Thanks, Spazzie, and welcome!

    Thanks, Sweets! You know you're one of my most favorite readers!

    Thanks, Carla! It's good to see you here again!

    Thanks, Ronnie! I'm happy that you enjoy it here.

    Thanks, Pink! Wise I'm not so sure, but I'll take entertaining!

    Thanks, Todd and Suzy! We are indeed! Thank you so much for the comment.

    Thanks, Lea! The poetry is one of my favorite features of the site--that and the pictures of butts.

    Thanks, baby girl! I'm glad I could give folks a laugh. That makes me happy.

  17. Yes spanking is cool, with any tool. We all cum, spanking a bum. Were in tune, with a moon. I'm a clown, when knicker's are down.

  18. Love this! It is so true!!