Monday Photo Haiku: Season of Giving

If Old Nick's jolly,

She gets a candy cane and

Placed on the Nice list.

Photo courtesy of 7 on the Hip via The Secret Smut of Eliza Jane Black. Original source unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Resolution Unresolved

I've eaten too much.

I must resist temptation...

On second thought, nah.

Happy belated Thanksgiving! I hope you all got stuffed one way or another.

Photo courtesy of Expo7000. Original source unkown.

Spankophilephilia: 25 Reasons Why Spankos are So Awesome (LOL 2011)

If you are a lurker here, then chances are you're a spanko as well. If not, then at least you're probably kinky enough to appreciate spankophilia from a distance (and if not, why are you here? the poetry?). Anyway, most spankos go through periods of self-doubt about their kink. Given that you've been lurking around here and other spanking sites without so much as a comment, my guess is that you're still searching for comfort with it all. I want to help—in the only way I know how.

When I get down and discouraged about my proclivities, I find it helpful to remind myself that spankophilia isn't just some DSM-IV-TR paraphilia, it's an awesome DSM-IV-TR paraphilia! So when I was looking for a way to show love to my lurkers, I decided to focus on what makes spanking so cool (or is it 'hot'...I can never keep track).

But then I realized spanking is an awesome practice (when consensual) only because spankos are awesome people. It's the folks, not the strokes. So I thought I'd show my love for lurkers by showing my love for spankophiles.  And so we have the list below.

Let me get a disclaimer out of the way. I rushed production of this post and was not able to research as much as I'd like. Inevitably, I probably have puns or jokes below that have appeared elsewhere (hell, I've certainly recycled a few of my own). If you've seen something before on another site and can send me a link, I'll be glad to credit prior art.

Without further ado, here are 25 reasons why spankos are so awesome:

1. We're a touchy-feely bunch, and yet still sticklers for formality.
2. We're the reason antique shops sell hairbrushes.
3. We're strong advocates for personal responsibility.
4. We have an attuned sense of rhythm and percussive dynamics.
5. We have an intuitive understanding of the physics of collisions and waves.
6. If a song lacks a strong backbeat, we'll provide one.
7. We know there's more than one way to roast a butt.
8. If there's whine at the table, then we know what'll be served after dinner.
9. We can spout off acronyms as good as anybody.
10. We know the sound of one hand clapping.
11. We can think of at least two uses for just about anything with a handle.
12. We understand the importance of clean underwear.
13. If one of us is up a creek, there's probably a paddle around.
14. We know that brats are best with toasted buns.
15. We've built up a lot of tolerance from our experience.
16. We know that when the going's about to get rough, it's best just to grin and bare it.
17. If one of us will take a bow, another will be glad to belt out a number.
18. We know that regardless of the color of a person's skin, it can always be made red.
19. We're quite good at keeping a count.
20. While we may still suffer heartache, we know how to deal with a pain in the ass.
21. While we may still have skeletons in our closets, at least we keep our corners free of cobwebs.
22. We never forget a birthday.
23. We get to the bottom of every question, or at least we take a crack at it.
24. We know that for any mistake, correction is always possible.
25. We know that no matter how painful the event, there's always an end in sight.

So now what can you do, awesome spanko? Well, why do you think spankos are awesome? Contribute a reason of your own. Or just say hello!

This list was composed for Love Our Lurkers, a wonderful tradition started by Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts.  Love Our Lurkers is a chance for us bloggers to show our appreciation to those who read our site, but for whatever reason choose not to comment.  The other purpose, of course, is to encourage these lurkers to de-lurk: that is, to take the plunge and leave a comment.  So let me say that I am grateful for all the readers of my blog, be they participants or lurkers.  I hope that you enjoy what you find here.  If you lurk at Ecce Spanko, or are just stopping by now, please consider leaving a comment on this post and on any others you wish.  I consider most of my posts timeless, so there's no need to be hesitant about leaving comments on stuff I wrote a while ago.  In particular, I invite you to enjoy my entry for last year's LOL. Be sure also to visit the many other sites participating in LOL.

Monday Photo Haiku (late again): Deliberating

A wise gentleman

Takes some time to map his course

When going to town.

Photo courtesy of Some Favorites. Original source unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Halloween Horny

Make fantasies real

On an eve when we can shed

Our everyday costumes.

Happy Halloween!

Photo courtesy of Costume Craze.

Monday Photo Haiku (late): Ye Goode Switch

The knight cedes his sword

At times, and the fair maiden

Gets to play the queen.

Sorry for missing the Monday post!

Photo courtesy of Pixel Acquarium.  Original source unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Her Plea

"Talk to me softly---

Nothing blisters my flesh more

Than your searing tongue."

Photo of Jessica by Some Favorites. Original source unknown, but probably from Real Spankings or an affiliate.

Monday Photo Haiku: Joy of Discovery

Stray outside the lines.

You never know what you'll find

Exploring new worlds.

Happy Columbus Day!

Photo courtesy of Erotic Inspiration, via Bluemotion. Original author unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: All A Girl Wants

She wants her man to

Give her shiny new bracelets

And turn on the heat.

Photo by Val-Mont, via mono-girl.

Monday Photo Haiku: What I Did on My Summer Vacation

We've enjoyed fine meals,

Sunsets along the water,

And lots of fucking.

Photo courtesy of Photolubitel, via Breathless Thoughts. Original author unknown.

Dioneo is still on vacation. Rest assured that I will address all correspondence upon my return.

Monday Photo Haiku: Off to Antarctica

Time to taste the world!

I'm leaving on a jet plane.

Be back again soon.

Photo courtesy of The Sensual Starfish, via Seeks the Night.  Original author unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Lazy Adventures

I want to travel

Across the hills and valleys

Without leaving home.

Photo "Lady Libertine" courtesy of Frame Rate, via What Turned You on Today?

Monday Photo Haiku: Trembling Prelude

A heavy paddle

On her mind, her burden is

To suffer the wait.

Photo by Yuria, via Visual Clips.

Monday Photo Haiku: Mastery

You master the skills

By playing with yourself. Plus,

You win everytime.

Photo courtesy of Banana Things, via Void*.

Monday Photo Haiku: Rebuttal?

The critic signals

Her thoughts on your work of art.

Time to up your game!

Photo courtesy of Doc's "Special Treatment", via the Pink Papers.

Monday Photo Haiku: Nature Bound

My love of nature

Began that first time she asked

"Wanna play outside?"

Photo by CherriLady, via Palace of the Lustful Kitty.

Monday Photo Haiku: Tilling the Field

In the good old days,

Man had time to tend to her

And make her feel loved.

Photo courtesy of Some Favourites, original source unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Parable

Left and Right bickered.

The shit hit the ceiling fan,

Then they were grounded.

Photo by Ken Marcus, courtesy of Lynn Pops, via Submission Spanking.

Poster: Adulthood

Photo courtesy of PornPros, via Yankee Clipper.  Composite by Dioneo Daspanca.

Monday Photo Haiku: Summer Sweat

Nothing's hotter than

The damp limbs and musky lips

Of a girl in heat.

Photo courtesy of All Things Sexy, via Sexy, Nude, and Sometimes Lewd.

Monday Photo Haiku: Not Too Subtle

Somewhere in the tale,

Lips moistened, she figures out

What you have in mind.

Photo courtesy of Erooups, via Human Error.

Monday Photo Haiku: Puckered Canvas

She's primed and ready

To be painted with kisses

By your skillful hand.

Photo courtesy of Club Seventeen, via Déculottée.  Please note that, its name notwithstanding, Club Seventeen claims compliance with 18 U.S.C. Section 2257 (i.e. the subject of the photo posted here is at least 18).

Monday Photo Haiku: Would you like a taste?

Scents from her oven

Invite you for a warm meal.

Get it while it's hot.

Photo of Kami courtesy of Errotica Archives, via Painted Pants and Open Kitchen.

Monday Photo Haiku: Bratty Duet

Trouble comes in pairs.

Doubly shamed, they recall that

Class here starts at two.

Photo courtesy of Sir Cane.

Monday Photo Haiku: You're Welcome

Like a good neighbor,

She opens her doors and asks,

"Will you stay for lunch?"

Photo courtesy Michelle7, via Art or Porn?.

Monday Photo Haiku: Communication

Her struggle complete,

She waits nervously, hoping

He'd get the message.

Photo by Zoe Grayson, via Scandal Guy.

On the contrary madam, I'll be heating up your butter forthwith!

I came across this lovely old tune this morning.  I don't know how much of a hit it was back in its day, but  it's definitely going into my Greatest Tushist Hits playlist.  Some sample lyrics follow the Youtube audio:

Everybody pinches me butter,
They won't leave me butter alone,
And nothing is better than butter
For keeping the old man at home.
Everybody thinks I'm old-fashioned
To sit on the things that are rationed,
You can pinch all me ham
And me plum and apple jam
But please leve me butter alone.

Isn't butter delicious?

Photo of girl licking girl courtesy of the 50 Lesbians, via the Pink Papers, and modified by Dioneo Daspanca.

Monday Photo Haiku: To a Friend

Congratulations!

May your marriage be replete

With love and spankings.

Photo coutesy of Lorem Ipsum, via Afterbeat.

Monday Photo Haiku: I wish I were a bicycle seat...

Let's dust off the bikes!

May I draft in your scent, and

Coast along your curves?

Photo courtesy of ErOOups.com, via Visual Clips.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...there was some spankin' goin' on.

This afternoon at the local nerd council, one of my bespectacled comrades remarked that today was Star Wars Day. I admit that I plum forgot (I know, for shame. You can deduct points from my nerd score). Since there's still a couple of hours left, I figured there was still time to post something in celebration, so here you go...

"You are a part of the Rebel Alliance and a brat!"

If you enjoy spanko-nerd humor and have both a spanking and Star Wars fetish, you might want to check out a piece I posted a while ago: "Some Sunday Silliness."  

Happy Star Wars Day!

May the Fourth be with you!

Still from Star Wars and hairbrush acquired from Google Images.  Composite by Dioneo Daspanca.

Merry Masturbation Month!

Hello, my name is Dioneo, and I'm a masturbator.

As you may already know, May is International Masturbation Month.  While I imagine most visitors to this blog celebrate year-round, I invite you to make a special effort throughout this month to show your appreciation to yourself.  Give yourself a hand--or a toy if that's how you roll--for May is a month where you celebrate you.

Original photo courtesy of Random Nudes, via Cantamar.  Modified by Dioneo Daspanca.

In the News: You're not as deviant as you think (yeah, right...)

The New York Post recently profiled a soon-to-be-released book A Billion Wicked Thoughts, which analyzes Google search data to discern sexual proclivities.  The researchers basically argue that categories of fetish thought to be deviant (i.e. rare) among sex therapists are in fact quite common.  The Post's article, linked here, describes the findings in more detail and provides some critique.  I haven't read the book, so I'll reserve comment, but I thought my readers might like the heads up on this study, considering how deviant you all are. ;)

Monday Photo Haiku: Traditionally Bare

So why do we tend

To use piles of fine fabric

To bury treasure?

Photo courtesy of Clip, via Déculottée.

Monday Photo Haiku (on Friday): Feeling Nasty and Used

Act of submission

That leaves you in agony?

Paying your taxes.

Happy Tax Day!

I apologize to my readers and friends for my unanticipated hiatus these last couple of weeks. I hope to return to regular posting/commenting/chatting soon.

Photo courtesy of NickTheDick Reloaded, modified by Dioneo Daspanca.

Monday Photo Haiku: Spring at Last

Spring is here at last!

Let me savor your blossom,
Its sweet, crispy scent.

Photo courtesy of All Shapes and Sizes, via Daily Redhead.  Author unknown.

Fun with Memes #2

...continuing on a theme—er, meme.


There's an old saying attributed to Socrates that goes:

Get not your friends by bare compliments,
but by giving them sensible tokens of your love.

So I think he'd agree with the following...

I think I got this next one from The Body Shop's annual report to shareholders...

There's something about this next one that I hope will give you a chuckle...

Credits:

• Photo of two women courtesy of Sexy Little Things, via Naggisch (paddle added).
• Pie chart "Buyers of Bath Brushes" by Dioneo Daspanca.
• Photo of Katjia at chalkboard courtesy of Whipped Ass, via The Pink Papers.  Composite by Dioneo Daspanca.

Monday Photo Haiku: Topsy Turvy

Her morning unwrapped,

Kitten scratches at the floor,

Awaiting her mate.

Photo courtesy of Seeks the Night.  Original source unknown (focuus.com disabled).

Monday Photo Haiku: Shot

She pulls the trigger

And so captures an instant

Of sheer ecstasy.

Photo courtesy of The Depiction of Erotic Behavior, via Muffy's.  Author unknown.

Monday Photo Haiku: Flu, or something like it

No haiku today...

My body is a warzone.

I'll be back next week.

Mucus Max appears courtesy of whoever makes those dumb commercials.  I don't have the mental function to look it up right now.

Fun with Memes #1

...because why the hell not?

Every spanker should have this poster on his wall as a reminder:

And maybe keep this one in his pocket for handy reference:

This one isn't really an internet meme...yet.

Credits:

• Photo used in "Spankings" poster by Me in My Place.  Composite by Dioneo Daspanca.
• Flow chart "When to end a hand spanking" by Dioneo Daspanca.
• Photo of Katjia at chalkboard courtesy of Whipped Ass, via The Pink Papers.  Composite by Dioneo Daspanca.

Monday Photo Haiku: Foamy Lips

The sea's foamy lips...

With reflection she's centered,

And getting quite wet.

Photo courtesy of Niente, via Yubioshi_Reblog.

Photo Haiku: Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's—

In time your bodies degrade,

But your love need not.

Photo courtesy of It's Maui Bitch, author unknown.

Venting on a Valentine

I want to say that the sun struggles to pierce the clouds,
That it gasps at overcoming the hills,
All so its rays can reach you,
All so it can give a pleasant glow to your skin and hair,
The warm light that your beauty sure deserves;
But that I'm willing to get in its way,
Willing to block it all out,
Willing to eclipse the sun,
If that's what it takes to kiss you.

I want to say basically that,
But I want to say it with good meter and rhyme
Which is fucking hard.

Erato, muse of poetry,
Thou art a bitch.

Photo Haiku: Super Bowl Monday

Regrets from the bar...

Black coffee corrects one end,

Black suede the other.

Photo "Kat" by Damon Loble, via Tush.

I must be seeing things again...

The snow must be getting to me...

Or maybe it's being cooped up indoors...

Or having to navigate the icy roads...

Whatever it is, I have a pronounced desire to thoroughly spank the goddess of snow.  Have you seen that naughty Snowzilla?

Credits:

• Cloud photo courtesy of NASA's GOES-13 satellite.
• Naughty girl photo used for bump map courtesy of Ciao Bella.
• Composition by Dioneo Daspanca.

Look at it this way...

When you get out of bed and the skin-piercing chill makes you regret it,
When you look out the window and the whitewashed street makes you squint,

When the door fights you as you try to leave,
When the sidewalk fights you as you try to walk,

When your stomach drops as your car doesn't start at first,
When your heart stops as your tires lose traction for a second,

When, in crawling traffic, you want to jump out of your car,
When, at your destination, you want only to stay in,

When the sight of snow makes your back hurt...

Remember that these snows replenish our lakes,
Remember that these snows protect the roots of our trees,

Think of the kids that will run wide-eyed into the abundance,
And think of the angels and astronauts who can marvel at the sight from the heavens.

Photo courtesy of NASA's GOES-13 satellite.

Photo Haiku: Elixir

Afternoon alone—

Sipping her most loved liqueur

From her fingers.

Photo by Sasha, via HUMAN_ERROR.